Before I left for France, Anahid (mom-in-law) brought over a vase of flowers to my house. Today, I was cleaning up around the house and I realized the flowers were still there. Well, actually, the stems of the flowers were left over, but the vase was still there sitting in the middle of the dining room table.
I've been home for 24 hours and I have never had people stare at me more than everybody at home since I got back. They really missed me. I know that because they tell me every half hour, but it's not only that... it's the way they look at me.
Yesterday, when I saw Armen, I said to him, "I missed you..." as I hugged him. His reply was, "So..." That didn't mean much to me because I know him well enough to know his capabilities at expressing his feelings. Well, everybody at home has been telling me how much they missed and how quiet the house is and so on... but, I haven't been able to reply to those comments with my words. They should know me well enough to know my capabilities at expressing my feelings to them, but in case they don't:
When I am far away from the most important people in my life, I get a feeling of helplessness. I can go on with daily activities normally, but pause, at times, and feel moments of heartbreak and emptiness. At those moments, I can't understand the reasons for my emotions, but, then, I realize that my heart longs to be around the familiar. The familiar is what makes me comfortable and what my whole world revolves around. Know that, I feel exactly the same way you feel when I'm gone, I just can't find the words to describe my feelings in those moments.
They say I'm the "flower of the house," so, I figure the vase of flowers were there to replace me for a couple of weeks. Now, I feel like I have a bigger responsibility at being what they think I am. I hope I can still be good at something I never thought I was...
Tip of the Day: We are always thought of in unthinkable ways... Don't underestimate the power of your presence in your family, life, and world.
You know it love...
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