Day 89: Fart in a Jar

My cousin (the one getting engaged today) and I are the youngsters and we've always been the funny clowns of the family. Oddly enough, we were the first ones to go...

Watching him tonight is going to be weird for me because we've grown up together and let's just say that...the best memory I have of him was when he used to fart in a jar, close it up, run it to us, hold up a match, and say, "Ok, watch what's gonna happen!" with a funny look on his face. Then, he would open the jar, throw the match in there and watch it flame up. So, you can imagine how how it feels to see him grow up and become a man.

They say, "time flies" but... I don't think we get it until we stop and look at everyone around us in life and how fast it does go by... We don't see ourselves change and grow up as we do others. Then, once we do realize it, there's nothing left but memories. Memories are vague, like dreams, but they're all we're going to have left. One day, when I'm feeding a squirrel and can't remember what I had for breakfast, I'll remember him farting in that jar...

Tip of the Day: Try to be present at all times and make everything a memory... good or bad.

“Always remember to slow down in life; live, breathe, and learn; take a look around you whenever you have time and never forget everything and every person that has the least place within your heart.” www.thinkexist.com

Day 88

My cousin is getting engaged tomorrow... so, there's family members everywhere I look...
The men sit at the dining room table discussing the house market, the women are running around with their wet fingernails and toes, setting the table, and getting the last minute things ready. The groom is nowhere to be found... (I hope he's near and hasn't changed his mind), my grandma is blabbing away, as she serves tea and coffee, as usual, and I sit here on the couch observing. Some of the family had to fly in from out of state, some come from across the street, and some (like my dad) decided that they'd much rather be in bed watching t.v.
Honestly, I'd rather be in my bed right now, but, I'm trying to live in this moment... this is not my everyday, and throughout the years, I've come to realize that they are what matter most at the end of the day. We can be anywhere in the world with our families and feel at home.
It's funny... everyone has been asking the "soon to be" groom to show the ring, but he refuses... he keeps brushing them off, but they keep asking, which proves that family can get annoying...but, they are the annoyance I'd rather live with than without.

Tip of the Day: Enjoy the moments you have with your family. They're apart of the best and worst memories you'll have when you look back at your life one day.

“Other things may change us, but we start and end with family” Anthony Brandt

Justine Macarrio

Modest Fly Art Gallery is going to be showing Justine Macarrio's photography in late May. Her work is a contrast between the feminine and the masculine through a nostalgic lens. Her prints will be for sale at the show and her work will be up in the gallery until June 2010. There will be further details posted soon.

Day 87: I'll do it later...

Yesterday, in my post, I mentioned procrastination... what we all do...

I was supposed to get something done on the computer yesterday, but I never got to finish it because I was too busy thinking about what else needs to get done, like, the floor needs sweeping, Facebook messages, emails, bathroom breaks, coffee breaks, cheesecake breaks... ya, so, that's what happened. I'm supposed to be doing it now, but, I thought, I should post today's blog...

Some people work better when they have a deadline. I read somewhere that "Great things can happen when there is very little time" and I agree with that. Personally, I can do more in very little time than in a great amount of time, and, most of the time, I have very little time to accomplish things. (Hope you got that) It's the pressure that builds up and pushes us forward. Procrastination, somehow, works with and against us. It's when we procrastinate that leaves us little time, and, that's when great things happen, but... some people can't work last minute. They have to plan, organize, and set things up, and, I commend those people. They spend so much time preparing, and put so much work into something that can be done in less time. (by others)

I remember when I was in 9th grade, and we had this life timeline assignment... one of my friends (the one who got married recently and has worked hard all her life) worked for days on hers: drawing, writing, coloring, etc... I hadn't even started mine the day before it was due... I put something together the night before, turned it in, and got a B! She had gotten a C on hers and I felt so bad that she spent so much time on that stupid thing. The teacher was a weird woman, who always talked about the right/left brain (Ms. Taylor) and from the way she ran the class, I figured out how much of my time to put into her assignments. Then, there was my English class, that I couldn't miss a day of, and tried to put more time into. I guess the difference was that I was okay with mediocre grades if it meant getting sleep...

On the contrary, I slept at 6AM today due to my procrastination yesterday, so, I payed for it... but, my mind is still viable for typing and putting words together, I think.

Now, I'm going go and finish what I need to get done... I hope...

Tip of the Day: I'm not going to tell you to try not to procrastinate because we all end up doing it, but, if you try to enjoy all the tasks you need to do, you'll procrastinate less. When you need to get something done, just enjoy the process... it'll seem less painful.

I looked up procrastination in Wikipedia and it's funny how serious they make it sound: "Procrastination may result in stress, a sense of guilt and crisis, severe loss of personal productivity, as well as societal disapproval for not meeting responsibilities or commitments. These feelings combined may promote further procrastination. While it is regarded as normal for people to procrastinate to some degree, it becomes a problem when it impedes normal functioning. Chronic procrastination may be a sign of an underlying psychological disorder." Wow, that sounds terrible...

Day 86: Vogue LIFE

People go through bad patches... depending on: the numbers in our bank account, the height of the amount of bills stacked up on our desk, the emails and letters that have or haven't arrived in our mail box, the procrastination that keeps us from doing what needs to get done, the feeling of being unappreciated, the feeling when no one could understand, the feeling of not having enough time, etc. our mood, actions, and feelings are decided. Our level of patience, anxiety, and type of reaction to situations are made up of all these little things in life, that, in the long run, don't matter. These things accumulate and form our daily personality and create our actions in things that do matter in life.

What I mean to say is that we all go through phases in life due to the situations we live in. So, if someone is going through a bad patch and they're not reacting to things as they would normally, try to understand what little things are going on in their life. It's all a matter of who we are, where we come from, and, most importantly, where we want to be that create these little things that make or break us...

Tip of the Day: Life is what you make of it... so, pay attention to your actions, reactions, emotions, and expressions because they make you YOU!

“Just remember, the same as a spectacular Vogue magazine, remember that no matter how close you follow the jumps: Continued on page whatever. No matter how careful you are, there's going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn't experience it all. There's that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should've been paying attention. Well, get used to that feeling. That's how your whole life will feel some day. This is all practice. None of this matters. We're just warming up.”

Chuck Palahniuk

Day 85: Quote ME

A stranger made me smile today... we were walking past each other on the street and she made a joke about wearing this bride's dress in a store window. (it was a joke because she was probably in her late 70s) When she noticed me giggling, she said, "I made you laugh..." as she smiled at me. I smiled back at her and thought about how nice it was that she cared I was laughing. Believe it or not, it made my day special...

Tip of the Day: Greet or smile at a stranger... you never know who needs a smile in their day. ( I wrote the tip before finding this quote and, strangely, they're similar... I could've been quoted!)

"Today give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day."

H. Jackson, Brown Jr.

Day 84: Lights, camera, action...

You know... I couldn't believe there was going to be "one" yard sale, but, "two" is extremely hard to believe. Today, my sister had another yard sale to get rid of everything we didn't get rid of the first time, and some other stuff we sneaked out of the house... (that my mom is not aware of...yet)

As of today, we have made about $1,000 with these two yard sales... (but have probably sold $10,000 worth of material...but, it was so worth the extra space in the house.)

It was good, though, because it actually took place. As for right now, I have rented a movie, so I am going to watch it and tune out for the next couple of hours. Watching someone else's life for a couple of hours is the best way to get your mind off yours, when you need to. I remember when movie tickets used to be $3.25... now the cost of going to the movie theatre is more than triple that price for a ticket, and an arm and leg for some Coke and popcorn, if you dare, but we still don't hesitate to pay that price for those two hours of tune out. The feeling that we get when a movie starts is a type of excitement, curiousity, and anxiousness that is priceless. So, now, I am officailly tuning out and giving you the...

Tip of the Day: Watch a movie when you feel the need to tune out of your reality.

"As long as movies are playing, I'll be fine." Nick Kellogg

Day 83: Armenians

Today is the day of commemoration for the Armenian Genocide...

Honestly, I don't have much to say about this subject because it is so much bigger than me... or anything I can put into words, so... instead of posting a sad video with pictures we've all seen of skulls and terrible things, I decided to post a Patriotic Armenian song to remind us of how special our culture really is:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcykRzdUqbA&feature=related

Tip of the Day: Have a moment of silence during the day to respect those who were affected by the Armenian Genocide in the past, and, to those who still fight for it today.

Day 82

Today I spent most of my day trying to organize the stuff I had lost yesterday. I have, kind of, gotten over the fact that it's lost, but I think it'll hit me once I have to redo everything over again. But...
On a more positive and interesting subject, I received a special gift yesterday...

Armen had bought me an antique gold watch from an antique store he had visited while he was out of town. He had picked it out, paid for it, and was about to walk out with it, when the man at the counter had asked him why he had picked that particular watch. He had told the man that he had just liked that one. So, he brought it home and (the watch having a really small band around it) said to me, "I got you something, but it's not gonna fit you.." I looked over at him, while making a sandwhich, and asked, "Why? Am I too fat? Will it fit if I lose weight?" He started to laugh and replied, "No, it won't ever fit you cuz you're big-boned." (Ya, you can imagine the four letter words going through my head at that point) I started to laugh and moved towards him with the sandwich knife in my hand and said, "Seriously?? What is it?" He replied, "I'll show you if my sandwich is a good one..."

His sandwich must have been good because I got to see the watch. It was the most beautiful watch I've ever seen. It was delicate, detailed, vintage, and looked like it had been through time. So, I looked at it for a while as he told me the story behind it, which the man at the counter had told him: Apparently, it was a watch from the 40's, and it "apparently" had been bought by Marilyn Monroe as a gift for her personal Gynecologist, who was the aunt of the man at the counter. That was a long story made short, but it was very interesting, true or not, that this item had such an amazing story behind it. I looked at my watch for about 4 minutes, then, put it on to prove that it would fit, and it did... until the band broke because it was too tight on my wrist... I guess I am big-boned... but, the watch will be repaired and, now, I am apart of its history...

Tip of the Day: Visit an antique store once in a while... the air inside might be tight and heavy, but the items that might be found, sometimes, can carry amazing journeys and you should be apart of amazing journeys. After all, we are going to be apart of history one day...

Day 81: Lost

I have, literally, done nothing today... except, look for a lost item. It seems that I may have misplaced my hard drive, (the one that holds all of my life) and, today, I have been everywhere looking for it. I am exhausted... tired of looking for something that's not there. It's the worst feeling when something goes missing. It seems to have just disappeared. I've been home three times since this morning, been at the gallery 4 times since this morning, and drove to Hollywood to Glendale and back to Foothill twice, looking for it. Just now, I cleaned out the gallery to make sure it wasn't hiding behind the white walls or the pieces on the walls, (if you've been to the gallery, there aren't many places it could be here) Now, I'm exhausted, so I thought I'd sit down for a while and write about how unorganized I've been lately. There has been so many different things going on, that, I haven't had the time to put things back in their place... and, this is what I get. If I don't find it, I'm going to have to spend two days redoing what I'm missing, and, if I do find it, (I hope I do... crossing my fingers) then, I promise to be more alert and organized. (hands in prayer position)

Tip of the Day: You already know your tip of the day, so, do it. If you're clueless about today's tip, get your head together and get organized.

"I'm lost! I've gone to look for myself. If I should return before I get back, ask me to wait." Unknown

Day 80: She remembers that she loves me...

Alzheimer's is what most of, young people, joke about having... but, my grandmother, she really does suffer from Alzheimer's. I visit her about once a couple of weeks and she's so much fun to be around, due to her Alzheimer's. I know it's pretty sad, but, why not enjoy her condition, while it's there.

My grandmother used to be very active and in control until my grandfather died of Blood Cancer about 15 years ago... Now, she lives alone and deals with her memory loss day to day.

Yesterday, I went by to see her and she was outside feeding a squirrel. I know, how weird... right? Ya, it was pretty weird, but amazing. The squirrel was sitting right at her feet as she handed it a big piece of bread. The squirrel grabbed the bread, nibbled at it, then, dropped it and stood on his back feet, looked up at my grandma, and wiggled his fuzzy tail. I watched this happening from the top of the stairs and couldn't help but laugh at the ugly thing who looked like a rat due to the rain and wet puddles around. So she looked down at it and said, (in Armenian) "That's it, no more, you're not getting sweets today!" The squirrel still looking up at her, sat down and waited. Then my grandma said to me, "Why aren't you coming up? Are you scared of it? I'm just feeding this 'rat'... come on, come in..." So, I slowly walked towards the door of the house, and, surprisingly enough, it didn't run away. I said, "No, I'm not scared of the rat grandma, but it'll run if I come towards it." She replied, "No, don't worry, come in," as she picked the bread back up, tore it to pieces, threw some out to the birds, and gave the squirrel a smaller piece. Then, I watched as the squirrel grabbed the smaller piece of bread, looked back at my grandma, reassuring itself that it wasn't going to get anything sweet today, then, ran down the stairs...

It was so extraordinary and funny to watch all this happen...

As I walked inside her home, still thinking about what had happened, I took off my shoes, and sat down comfortably on the couch. I was there for about an hour and a half, and throughout that period, she asked me if I wanted tea about 22 times, asked what day it was, about 6 times, and told me to eat the apples she had cut about 14 times...

As she asked me the 4th time about what day it was, I just looked at her with a dumbed look on my face...she looked back at me, grinned and said, "What should I do, I forget..." while shrugging her shoulders.

With all the things she forgets during her day, she always recognizes my voice over the phone, remembers my fiance's name, gets extremely excited when I show up at her door, and remembers that she loves me...

Tip of the Day: Visit and spend time with an older person. They bring humbleness into your day and say the wisest things, sometimes.

As we were sitting there, there was a music video on t.v. of a woman singing about her mom and why she had to grow old... my grandma watched it and after it was over said, "It's not in her hands, if it was, she wouldn't have..."

“Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant with the weak and the wrong. Sometime in your life you will have been all of these.”Dr. Robert H. Goddard

Day 79

So, yes, I called the lady today, and, I, officially, have my first freelance job! Yayyyy!

Ok, so I'm wondering why it's still raining? This weather is not letting us get into a fresh, enlightening feeling we usually get at this time of year... but, it's all good, it'll pass.

Actually, I've been listening to this song to try to get myself in the mood: (it's an oldie)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDC-CqvNpWs

Due to the weather, I woke up late today... and didn't get out of bed right away. I turned the t.v. on, (which I never do) and Obama was making a speech for Senator Barbara Boxer. Honestly, I don't follow Politics and am totally oblivious to anything that has to do with the news and the what's going on in the world. The closest I get to reading or hearing the news is the front page of yahoo, right before I check my inbox.

The last time I got involved with Politics was the Obama/McCain campaigns in '98. The sketch above is one I did representing race and how it affected the Presidency called "The Language of Race." It depicted the idea of the color of skin and the process of the candidates disguising themselves with black and white gloves for the campaigns they were running.

So, this morning, I watched his speech and educated myself a bit on what's going on today, in the world. I feel a bit smarter than I did when I woke up...

Every morning, Armen listens to KPCC or checks the news on his phone, and I am always annoyed when he gives me new news on things I could care less about. Yesterday morning, we were driving to his office, and he was looking at his phone as he looked up and said as he laughed, "George Washington has $300,000 in overdue library books! He owes the NY library... " I looked at him, started laughing and said, "really? Is this going to be you're subject over lunch today?" He replied, "Yes!" So, yeah, he reads or listens to the news and sounds so smart when he's having conversations with people throughout the day. Hey, but it's a fair way of sounding smart. At least he's not making it up...

Tip of the Day: Read or listen to the news at least once a week/two weeks, just to be up to date on what's going on in the world, and, if you're a news freak, try to keep away from it a bit, it can get depressing.

This is what today's post reminded me of: from 5:00 min. in - end

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Pm9ERE1FhA&feature=related

this one too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtVGmDjr2II&NR=1

Watch it, it's pretty funny and might make you laugh on this rainy day!

Day 78: Hard Work Pays Off

Today was like any other day... woke up, got dressed, went to Vons, bought Cheesecake, attended a Tupperware party, went to Yoga class, had dinner with the family, and started 175 wedding invitations...

I had a busy day, oh, and I just realized I had told my cousin I'd call her back in an hour. I'm sorry cuz, it was a day full of varied activities... I completely forgot, until right this moment...

With all the things that went on today, the best part was finding a couple of emails in my inbox...

So, we were having dinner with the family, without wine tonight, as I announced that I have three things to tell everybody (I said "3 good news's"). So, my mom being the perky one, started smiling and said, "ok, go on..." with her eyebrows raised, waiting anxiously as she put her fork down and stopped eating. My sister waited quietly, as my dad kept eating, and Armen (my fiance) and his brother looked up from their plates. Then, I said, "okay, so the first good news: I'm was chosen to participate in the Illustration Conference Roadshow in July at the Langham Hotel in Pasadena.." My mom yelled, "yeahhhhh" and started clapping as my sister smiled, and the boys just sat there like I hadn't given them the news yet. I went on, "Ok, the 2nd good news: the property manager of One Colorado from the Open Market in Pasadena last week emailed me today, asking me to work on an ad for One Colorado..." now, my mom was shrieking (freaking me out a bit) my sister smiling bigger, and the my dad kept eating, as the boys just looked at me. "So, the 3rd good news: A gallery in Italy has asked me to submit my artwork for a show they're going to be having in July..." Now, my mom jumped up, and held out her hands for two high fives, my sister looked surprised and happy and said, "See, I told you Italy was calling to us..." (because a couple of days ago she had mentioned wanting to take a trip there with me) My dad kept on eating, as Armen said, "how much fees do you have to pay?" right before everybody else got down on him and his negativity. So, everybody started asking me questions about everything as we finished eating and got up from the table.

So, with all that went on today, that was the best part of the day... it was even better than the actual news. With all the work I've been doing, or trying to do... it's nice to see something come of it.

Tip of the Day: Hard work always pays off, even when you feel like you're about to give up, don't. Just be patient and never stop working for what you want.

A couple of days ago, I was at Baskin Robbins, and I heard an older male customer talking to one of the workers and he said, "When you get to the top, you have to come back down and go back up again." It made me think that there's not really a top to anything, you're always going to try to work yourself up somewhere. Even if you get to the top of a certain place, you're at the bottom of something that you don't know about. So, work hard, try to enjoy it, and you'll find yourself where you want to be someday. Don't set your goals at the top of everything, set them where you'll be happy, and if the top is where you think you'll be happy, then, you might be climbing for a long time, so enjoy your climb!

Day 77: It's All in the Detail...

Big events are fun, especially Armenian, big events. Almost everyone looks forward to events that include food, dancing, and family. My cousin is getting engaged at the end of the month, and, today, we were at my aunt's house getting all the details together. I have about 15 burn marks from the glue guns we were using... though, it was fun. The girls of the family got together and cut, glued, tied, sprayed, sewed, and did whatever it took to finish off the pretty little things for the party.

Even though, the small things usually get overlooked, they are very important, I think. The amount of detail, attention, and effort put into an event is what makes it special, and, every event should be special. I know my ideas about this stuff might be a bit overwhelming because I like to overdo some things (due to my artsy background), but, today, I realized that the best part of an event is the planning stage. I know a few brides getting ready for their big day this year... so, they're in their planning stages, but, I say, enjoy this while you can. The big day comes and goes so fast that you don't even get to stop to see what everything, you worked so hard for, looks like.

I sit here, at the kitchen table, with a glass of White Zinfandel and some blackberries, thinking about what a good day I had... it was good because I spent it with family, getting ready for one of the most important days of a person's life. There was music, food, wine, toasting, fruit, sandwiches, laughter, and, best of all, disagreements... it was great. I'd like to make a toast to anyone going through planning stages right now, and say that you should definitely savour the moment. You're never going to get them back. Once the day is here, you can't turn back, so right now is your event...it's happening, so pay attention to the guests, the details, the hours, the moments, the flashing lights, and pay attention to the people that really matter, and love you the best.

Tip of the Day: No matter what event, (gallery opening, Engagement, wedding, birthday, baby shower, etc.) make sure to give all you've got to the planning period and try to enjoy it with your family. It's the times you'll remember best...

"What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now."

thinkexist.cm

Day 76: Experience "experience"

After last night, I thought, maybe, I would get a break, but, today was a day all its own...

I was participating in another artwalk in the City of Ventura. I woke up early, got my stuff together, and drove out to Ventura with my sister. Well, first, we, kind of, got lost on the way over there. We thought we had driven too far, so we turned back for another half hour going back the opposite direction, then, figured out that we were actually almost there the first time. So, when we finally got there, it was a big laugh, but not because of the drive, it was where we had driven to...

I had heard about this artwalk from an art acquaintance of mine through email. I had called the lady that was putting it together, and had talked to her about how I would be able to show my work there. She asked me if she could see my work, so, I gave her my website address. She called me back the next day and said that she would like for me to participate, and that all I had to do was take my stuff, and a table to set it on, on Saturday morning. So, as you can imagine, I was excited about it.

As we pulled up into a big lumberyard, we parked, got out, and realized that this place was, like I said, a "lumberyard/caryard." After laughing about it for a few minutes, my sister and I looked at each other, pulled ourselves together, then, shrugged our shoulders, and got out of the car to set up. So, I set up, met a few new people, and sat there behind my table waiting on "artwalkers." We waited....waited...and...waited.....

It was supposed to be starting at 1pm... 2pm came, a couple people walked by the table, 3pm.... 4pm came, a couple more people walked by the table. 5 pm came, and I looked over to my sister and said, "ok, I think we should start cleaning up." We began to clean up, and, guess what? As soon as we got everything in the car, a shuttle bus with about 15 people on it came in, but, at the point, all I could think about was the strong smell of Marijuana that was coming from somewhere nearby, making me dizzy, and getting the hell out of there.

Overall, I'm glad I went because I got to meet a few new people that I wouldn't have met otherwise, and, most importantly, I spent the day with my sister. I'd like to thank her for accompanying me on these retarded, tiring, weird art full days. I don't know what I'd do without all her help and support. It means a lot to me, and she made my meaningless day, today, meaningful. Thanks Sis!

Today, I experienced experience...

Tip of the Day: Put your foot forward in anything that you can, even if it ends up in a lumberyard. Make sure to experience experience... because there must be a reason for everything.

"Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment."

Rita Mae Brown

Day 75: Chuck N Noises

I shall apologize, again, if you've been waiting around for day 75... honestly...this is what happened...

I couldn't wait to get home and post this thing tonight. I had a fun filled day at a Carnival, then, went to Chuck E. Cheese's with my favorite "Little Man." He's 9 years old and he is who I look forward to spending time with on some weekends. So, the carnival was fun... we sat on a few rides, (which was nauseating, for me, most of the time), played all the games they had there, until we got all the stuffed animals he wanted. There were a couple of rides we weren't able to sit on because he was an inch and a half short of the height limit, which I was secretly happy about.

I realized that the older we get, the less safe and colorful Carnivals seem. They're a bit scary, actually. The ride operators are, either, really young kids, barely out of high school, or they're drunk, creepy looking old men, who wreak of alcohol. I hadn't been to a Carnival in a while, but there's this new ride, where you lye down on your stomach and, kind of, hanglide, which was pretty cool but so weird to try out.

So, when we realized we couldn't carry any more stuffed animals, we left the Carnival and decided to go to Chuck E. Cheese's to eat some pizza and hang out. When I mentioned Chuck E. Cheese's, Little Man said, "No, not Chuck E. Cheese's, that place is for kids... like... small kids," as he looked at me from the corner of his eye and grinned. But, when I mentioned pizza and the basketball hoop game, he was convinced.

So, we walked into the place, full of people... young, old, middle-aged. It was so packed with people, I was about to turn around and tell Little Man he was right, it was for kids...but, I sucked it up and cashed out some tokens. Being there for about 3 hours made me realize that it wasn't "where a kid can be a kid," it was "where a parent can forget they have kids." The whole place was a disaster. Some kids were barefeet, some were screaming and running, some were lost, some were crying... some parents were eating, some were playing games, some were yelling, most were angry, some looked lost, and all parents and kids were noisy. For a second, I thought, "wow, I'm never having kids... but, I should have at least one...but, oh, I don't know, why is it so noisy...what is this kid doing? Uhhh, hey kid, where are your pants and shoes? Oh, my gosh... it's so noisy, and why is everyone so hyper? Oh, yeah, I would definitely not want to work here. I'd definitely not have kids if I worked here, but it's a good thing I don't. Oh, I don't think I'd come here two days in a row..."

The best part about being there was remembering the times when my cousins, my sister, and I would go on strike when our parents would refuse to take us to Chuck E. Cheese's. We'd go into the room, make huge signs, and start marching back and forth, until they'd get so upset over the t.v. being blocked by the signs, that they would have no choice but to fill us up in the van and take us over to see Chuck.

As you can see, I've had a long night full of noise and excitement. The truth is, I drove home thinking about doing today's post. As soon as I saw my bed, I couldn't help but forget and go to bed. A half hour into my sleep, I woke up, like I would from a bad dream, got myself out of bed, and got to my laptop as fast as I could, while cussing myself out for doing this to myself half asleep.

Tip of the Day: Do something familiar that would remind you of your childhood. Try reading a children's book you always used to read, or ride a bike, or whatever it may be that'll take you back to the kid in you. Your heart is "where a kid can be a kid."

Day 74

I apologize for the late post today...

I've had a pretty long day... but I'm finally home now, and, you have my attention. I wasn't at the gallery today, which means that, no, I don't have my business hours set yet...and, I'm probably going to be "closed" on Thursdays. I don't have much to say today, except that, I had a Cup of Noodles and enjoyed it so much.

Actually on a more interesting note... wow... I don't have a more interesting note...

The best thing I can give you guys is this video I just watched...

www.vimeo.com/9078364

It's a beautiful short film by Arev Manoukian, "Nuit Blanche" which means"White Night" that was posted on Facebook today by Yerevan Magazine and I think everyone should watch it. The film is of a moment between a man and a woman... if any of you have ever felt this, it can be a long moment. It makes me think of how fascinating we, as humans, are, and the extraordinary powers of our feelings. It's moments like these that make life so incredible and this film not only emphasizes it, but it is so beautiful overall... the pictures, colors, and, best of all, the music. Enjoy...

Tip of the Day: Watch this film... try to enjoy it in your own way... and, sometimes, remember to go back to the basics and try watching an old film and listen to the kind of music that takes you somewhere else, to a different time and place.

Modest Fly Art was featured in the Voice of the Village Paper this morning...

Day 73: Meeting an Asshole

So I wrote today's post yesterday because I couldn't wait... here it is:

Today is still Day 72, but I couldn't help myself because I encountered an asshole today, and I had to start writing about it, before I forgot all the details. I had to go to the post office in Glendale to send out a couple of packages...

When I got there, the line was halfway to the door, so, I just stood in line, behind this guy, and tried to keep myself entertained by watching people...

There was a few middle aged women in line, an old couple, a couple of men, and there were 3 employees at their service desks. Two employees were Asian and they are the regulars there that have been there for a while. The one employee in the middle, was a chubby, African American woman, who was fairly new, (I know this because I visit that post office at least once a week) who was wearing a big smile on her face, and chatting with the customers.

So, as I stood there with my box in my hand, watching and trying to be patient, a guy, dressed in worn out, big shorts, an even more worn out, big t-shirt, black Croc sandals, with a few days shave on his face and glasses, (looking Middle Eastern, but not Armenian for sure) and maybe about 100 pounds overweight turned to me and said, "Watch her... she's helped one customer, while the other two have helped three already..." with this disgusted look on his face. Me, not knowing what the hell he was talking about, looked at the three employees, and said, "which one?" He replied, "the one in the middle, the 'black' one." At that point, I just nodded and didn't even look back at him. I didn't even know what to think of his attitude. Then, to make me feel better, he says, "watch, watch..." and a customer the Asian lady was helping walked out after finishing her transaction. I looked at him and said, "maybe, she gets the hard jobs?" He looked back at me and said,"No, I don't think so... she's just lazy..." Ok, now, at that point, I didn't even want to talk to him anymore, so I just stayed quiet and continued to wait...

About five minutes later, the line was moving up a bit, so, I set my box on the table up front and started to tape up the bottom of the box. He turned around again and asked, "What are you sending out?" As my conscience answered, "What the hell is it to you?," I answered, "oh, just some postcards..." with a blank look on my face. Then, he says, "cool, ya, I'm sending out _____ (I don't even remember what he said he was sending out because I was so busy cussing him out in my head), ya, I sold it on Ebay... I'm here almost everyday sending stuff out, and when she helps me out, it takes so much longer than the others...after about 5 minutes, I think to myself, why am I still here? I told my wife she has to start sending this stuff out cuz I can't stand doing it anymore... but, hey, coming here means I'm making money, right..." I just gave him a nod and didn't say anything more. I thought to myself, "Ebay, huh, I can't think of a lazier job, you asshole! You sit in front of your computer with your camera all day... and this is probably the only trip you take out of your lazy house, you fat ass, and you don't even wanna do this? And, what guy wears Crocs anyway, they're the ugliest things I've ever seen..."

As the line moved up, he was first in line and it looked like the "black" lady was about to help him out. He turned to me and said, "You can go ahead of me, cuz I really don't want her to help me." I replied, "You sure?" As I asked this, he just looked over at her, mumbled something, and walked towards her to be helped out, and after about four minutes, his work was done, and he helped himself out of the post office without turning back. (I hope the door didn't hit him on his way out! What an asshole!)

The same lady helped me out, and, to be honest, it did take a bit longer than usual, but that was because she was taking her sweet time getting to know the customers. I've been going to the same post office for about 2 years, at least once a week, and the same Asian women have helped me out every time, and none of them know my name...

He was such a rare human being, I thought I should dedicate today's post to him and embarrass while I'm at it. I have come across rude assholes like that before, but very rarely do I get to humiliate them publicly. Even though you don't know who he is personally, they do exist, and you might come across one of them one day.

Tip of the Day: Don't judge people if you don't know them. It's hard to keep your opinions to yourself sometimes, but, unless necessary, keep them to yourself. I could've called him a lazy asshole, but it wasn't necessary... I'm sure his wife calls him that all the time.

"Never utter these words: 'I do not know this, therefore it is false.' One must study to know; know to understand; understand to judge."

http://thinkexist.com/quotation/never_utter_these_words--i_do_not_know_this/12454.html

Day 72

I'm feeling really good today... I think it was the early morning shower... and the fact that it's not raining anymore... and the dance music I'm listening to... and, of course, the Venti cup of Starbucks coffee...

So, my goal today is to come up with gallery hours...

I have been trying to do this for a while... I just can't get myself to be on a certain schedule. It's the worst feeling for me to know that I have to be somewhere at a certain time. I am officially "time spoiled"... actually "life spoiled", I should call it.

But... "I am a professional business" (I keep telling myself) "and... professional businesses work with professional business hours!" So here is what I have so far on the sheet of paper I'm trying to figure my hours out on: (and the facial expressions in the quotations are written down also)

Monday - 1pm - 5pm ( :/ )

Tuesday - 11am - 5pm (maybe closed)

Wednesday - 11am - 5pm (for sure)

Thursday - ...?.. (I guess I can be here...)

Friday - ...?.. (Ya, probably for a couple of hours...)

Saturday - 11am - 5pm (unless I have other plans)

Sunday - CLOSED (for sure)

So, as you can see, I don't have much to work with. I'm going to have to talk to myself a bit more to convince myself to get these hours to be a bit more legitimate...

Tip of the Day: Be a professional in whatever it is that you do. Even if you're going to have to sacrifice your time, lifestyle, and flexibility.

"A professional is someone who can do his best work when he doesn't feel like it.” - Alistair Cooke

Day 71: Just Be You

Today has been one of those days I couldn't wait for to end...

I haven't been very productive...

I was at the gallery and it was cold, so I put on some hot pink, Winnie the Pooh socks with my heels. I sat there with my socks and heels on, while my feet began to warm up. An hour later, I decided to walk home, so I closed the gallery up and started walking... with my socks still on. I thought about taking them off because I had to walk on Foothill Blvd., which is the Glenoaks of Tujunga, but the thought of bare feet made me shiver. I got a few stares and turning heads, but it was all good. I got home and my feet were warm...

Then, a couple hours later, I decided to walk to my Yoga class, which is about a mile from my house. I walked to my class with my lime green yoga mat under my arm, which was not that much better than my pink socks...

Tip of the Day: Don't think about what people think about you. It's just a waste of your time. Just be yourself.

"What others think of you is none of your business." Unknown

Day 70: Goodbye Nutella...

Today, it was the Pasadena Open Market at One Colorado... it happens twice a year on a Sunday and goes from 10am to 5pm where local people show up to buy all kinds of different artwork from local artists.

I had been getting my stationery ready for the past week for it, and, today, I was there at 8am to set it up and present it to the crowd. So, I set it up and got myself a well needed cup of coffee and a chocolate cupcake. It was around 9am, as I sat there trying to get warm from the freezing, cold weather, and convince myself to be nice so early in the morning.

As I sat there, a lady walked up to my table and picked up a couple of bookmarks. She explained that she was an art teacher and that she was going to use the bookmarks for a raffle. The Nutella piece, I had finished a couple of weeks ago, was on a small stand on the left side of the table. I noticed her glancing over at it, a few times. She looked over at it, and asked, "Is that piece for sale? That's an original right? I love that...mixed media..." I looked at her with a slight smile and answered, "yes, it's an original and it's $200," very confidently. She smiled as she pointed her finger at it and said, "I love it, it's on my mind..." I just nodded at her, smiled, and told her to have a nice day.

It being so early in the morning, I was still half asleep, when she decided to come back and stand in front of the table again... I looked at her, smiled, and said, "hello!" like it was her first time there because, of course, I didn't recognize her from a minute ago. She just looked at me, kind of confused, and said, "I'm going to go to the ATM...I'll be right back for this piece. I have to have it!" Of course, I smiled at her and thought, "shit...she's really going to buy it!" I couldn't figure out if I was happy or sad. I looked over at my sister as she looked at me with this retarded, excited smile on her face. She was so excited for me... I just looked at her as my eyebrows lowered and my smile faded. I didn't really want to get rid of it. I had just finished it. I wasn't even sick of it yet. What the hell!! Now, what... $200??? That's it! I worked so hard and she was going to take it home for only $200... but it was a small piece, so it's ok...I guess...

I felt so confused... I even thought about taking it from the display and telling her someone else bought it for more. (which is what my mom had done for some things we had at the yard sale)

So, what did I do? I got my bag and left to go get some more coffee. I went to the cafe nearby and bought coffee for everyone, and when I got back, it was gone...

I looked at the, now, empty stand, and asked my sister, "did you tell her there was actual Nutella mixed in with the chocolate color?" She looked at me surprised and said, "There was? You never told me there was..." I just shrugged my shoulders and replaced it with my "Red Head" piece and told myself to get over it.

Now, I sit here at the dining room table trying to publish today's post, but two minutes ago Armen asked for toasted Cinammon Pop Tarts... yummm.... that gave me an idea. I guess I can get over my Nutella and move on to bigger and better things.

Tip of the Day: Try to be aware of the things you can attach yourself to and let it go when it's time... you'll know when it's time.

"Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure." Oprah Winfrey

Day 69: Cheers...Kenats...Salud...

She looked beautiful yesterday... never seen her look more beautiful or happier... Congrats again!

Besides seeing her in her dress, last night was great because I saw friends from high school that I hadn't seen for years... It was so nice to see them again. Some were still single, some engaged, some married, and some with kids. It was a night of reminiscing and catching up. I found out about two more readers, and from what they told me, it's pretty damn difficult to post a comment on this thing, but, I'm so glad you guys are with me. It was so nice to see all of you again!

I was asked the question, "So when are you getting married?" maybe about 36 times... but, if anyone missed out on asking me last night or ever... my answer was, "Well, we were shooting for August of this year, but we shot a little further to early next year." So, I promise to keep you guys posted when we figure out a date. I was acutally thinking about how fun it would be to go through posting blogs and planning a wedding in the next year, but I honestly don't know how or when it's all going to happen yet.

Being there last night made me realize that there are so many friendship possibilities out there, with old friends and acquiaintances, that just pass us by...

One thing that was amazing was the fact that these girls were still as good friends as they were in high school. High school, unfortunately, being almost ten years ago, is long time gone, and I commend them for staying together.

It's kind of amazing how and where life leads us, and who we come across at certain points in our lives. I would like to dedicate today's post to all the girls I toasted with last night, with my glass of Merlot. Even though we were drinking to Arpi's happiness, I toast, again, to you guys from my past and for all your smiles and hugs when you see me. Thanks for a fun filled night and I wish you all great success and happiness forever...

Tip of the Day: It's Saturday night, if you read this in time, I say, go out and have a little fun with a couple of girlfriends. Enjoy each other's company while you're still young and when you get older. Every friendship at any age is needed...

"It is by chance that we meet, by choice that we became friends."

http://www.thinkexist.com/

Day 68: Best Wishes

Today is a special day... A girl friend of mine is getting married. We used to go to high school together, then, worked together for about 5 years...

Our weddings were a subject we would talk about all the time. We would talk about how weird it would be when we got married, had kids, and... grew up... and... now, that time is here, and it's not like I thought it would be...

It has probably been a more exciting day for her because she's been awake since 5AM, getting pretty, and smiling for the camera... I think it'll change for me once I see her in her dress.

I would like to write today's post dedicating it to her and all the happiness I wish for her in life. She is one person (maybe the only person) I've ever known that has kicked her own ass so hard in life. She has worked almost all her life while studying for things that I wouldn't even think twice about. She has grown up thinking about her future at all times, and has kept her posture throughout her life, no matter what situations came up. I would like her to know that she deserves all the success and happiness in life because she has literally worked for it. I wish her all that is good and I thank her for being a good friend.

I told her I can't wait to see her in her dress... and it was the truth...

Tip of the Day: Think of a hardworking person in your life and tell them what you think of their dedication.

Day 67: No thinking

I've been putting this off today... it's been a long day... it's been a different day. Actually, to be totally honest, I don't have a tip today. I think today's tip should be to not think about how we can better ourselves. We should just try to not think at all sometimes. I've been trying to not think the whole day. I can't say it's been a success, but it should be good for us to do sometimes. If it means sleeping half the day, and watching t.v. the other half, we should try it for a day. Just rest your mind and don't think! Let go of everything that makes you think throughout the day (work, duties, responsibilities, etc.) Take a day off and do nothing and think nothing. I wish I could've done that today, for my sake.

I sit here trying to post this as I listen to the voices and screams coming from a retarded movie called "Jennifer's Body" from the other room. If it takes a movie like that to take your mind off things, then, watch it.

The No Tip of the Day: I'm not thinking about anything to give you as a tip today.

"The time to relax is when you don't have time for it." Sydney J. Harris

Day 66

Last night I watched "An Education," the movie...

I don't want to kill the plot of the movie for you, but it was basically about how a person can lead a double life. (I hope that doesn't kill it for you guys...) We can, as moral people, think that leading a double life is wrong and that's it! No ifs or buts!! Right?

I'd think Right! a couple of years ago, but, I can kind of comprehend it now, a bit. It's definitely not right to do it, but it's a type of situation that many of us can face in life. I think that when life becomes regular and stable, we tend to get bored of ourselves and our lives. So, change is always good. Personally, when I get bored and static, I dye my hair or buy new clothes. But, my shopping account doesn't hold up for too long and my hair can't take the peroxide too much, so, I find other ways to deal with it...

This morning, while I was getting ready, I felt like cutting my own hair, so I gave myself short bangs, and, now, I feel so much better. My mom walked in while I was doing this, (and she's a hairstylist and has been for over 20 years) she looked at me with a confused look on her face, and turned and walked away. I stood there with a clump of hair in my left hand, looked over at her, and went on as I was...

Tip of the Day: Find/figure out different ways you can stay fresh and new. If it means cutting your own hair, go ahead... what's the worse that can happen?

“Life is never boring, but some people choose to be bored.” - Wayne Dyer

Day 65: Embarrassing

Embarrassment was worse when I was younger because I didn't wear makeup and it took my cheeks 3.5 seconds to turn red. Embarrassment is a feeling that we don't think about often. It's something that feels uneasy, awkward, and, mostly, not good.

We have this home video of my family visiting Sea World when I was about 5 years old. There's this part in the video where we're on the aerial tramway that goes from one side of the park to the other. My dad's video taping as my sister and I are talking about how blue and shiny the water underneath us is. Then, he turns the camera to me to find me picking my nose. At that moment, I look at the camera, (with my frizzy, curly hair and red cheeks) and smile as I take my finger out of my nose. Then, to make things worse, My dad asks me, "What are you doing?" (Uh, what do you think I'm doing, dad?) Every single time I watch that video, I dread that part that comes up, and I feel the same embarrassment I felt then...

Now that I'm older, I don't get embarrassed often, but, when it does happen, it's bad. So, yesterday, before I posted Day 64, I was uploading those two videos I posted. I sat here waiting for them to upload and thought about why I was doing that? It was the only way I could show you guys my point, but I felt so embarrassed doing it. My sister showed up, so I asked her about it. She, kind of, just looked at me, laughed, and said, "Well, if you don't care if people see you like that, why not?" I replied, "Well, it's not like I don't care, but I feel embarrassed doing it..." as I looked at her hoping she would say, "no...there's nothing to be embarrassed about..." but, she didn't. So, I just gathered my shit (in my head) together and told myself to do it. Hey, if I've come this far, and shown you guys this much, why not, right? So, yes, yesterday's post was a little traumatizing for me, but I'm glad it's over now. The color in my cheeks are back to normal.

Life is full of so many different emotions, moments, and experiences... I think it's better to go through them than not feel anything at all. The best thing to do is to tough it out, and get over it.

I would be pretty pale without the embarrassing moments in my life...

“Perhaps, on the whole, embarrassment and perplexity are a kind of natural accompaniment to life and movement; and it is better to be driven out of your senses with thinking which of two things you ought to do than to do nothing whatever, and be utterly uninteresting to all the world.”

Margaret Oliphant quotes

Day 64: Music

Today, I woke up to the rain, but I wasn't happy about it. In the Winter, I love waking up to the rain, but, it's April now, so, seriously?

So, naturally, I showed up to work needing coffee and brought my makeup to work, which I never do. I wasn't in the mood to listen to anything upbeat, so I turned on a mellow radio station online and tried to work... After a couple hours, I realized I needed some makeup, so I turned on my computer camera and put my makeup on, not realizing that every time I open the application, it begins to record. So, throughout the day, I've used this thing for makeup and it has recorded me. I used it twice, and both times are at different times of the day, but the first one, in the morning, the music is mellow, and the one in the afternoon is pop music, but check out the difference in my attitude while I interact with the camera. I was going through my pictures and saw that it had recorded and as I watched, the difference in my mood was huge and I wanted to share with you guys how much of a difference music makes in your life, attitude, mood, expression, etc.

This was an unknown experiment, so don't mind that it's my face the whole time. (You don't have to watch the whole thing, so please don't!!) I'm actually pretty embarrassed about posting this, but it's the only way I can get you guys to see what I mean. You might think, "well...duhhh.. of course music makes a difference" but, you have to trust me when I say I didn't know it was recording.

Tip of the Day: If you feel down, playing upbeat music will make you feel better unconsciously. We tend to listen to soft/sad music when we feel down, but doing the opposite will make the world around you a happier place to live.

“Music is what feelings sound like.”

http://thinkexist.com/quotation/music_is_what_feelings_sound_like/328323.html

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Day 63: Out of Gas...Walk Your Ass!

It's Easter Sunday! Happy Easter Sunday to everyone!

Last night was good... I drove to Orange County at 7pm for an opening at the gallery that's showing my work and was back here by 9pm for dinner with the family. It was a good night full of food, wine, and Lotto. (There are a few sneak peeks up there of last night)

This morning I had to be at the gallery at 12pm. I left the house at 11:55 am, drove to get some coffee with 2 miles to go on my gas range. I got my coffee and felt confident about my car making it to the gallery... which was not what I should've been feeling. My car started to get this bubbly feeling in it while driving, (and because this is not the first time this has happened, I knew it was my gas tank) so, I pulled over, turned the car off, and turned it back on thinking it would get its shit together and get me a couple more blocks up the street to the gallery...but.... that didn't happen. So... I got out, got my shit, and started walking, all the while laughing at myself for being such an idiot about my gas tank, so many times before, and, now.

Tip of the Day: Listen to your car when it says it needs something, or else, it'll leave you walking your ass somewhere. They need attention to.

Day 62

Happy Easter to everyone! I hope you guys all have a wonderful night and enjoy yourselves...

Yesterday, when I got home, as soon as I walked in, my hands full of grocery bags, my sister looked up at me, while coloring eggs, and said, "here, you wanna break eggs on the walls!" while holding an egg up and laughing. I just looked at her, trying not to laugh. She said, "What's wrong, why aren't you happy? It's Easter!!!" I looked at her, rolled my eyes, and walked away. Even though my post was a bit harsh, it brought about a really funny situation.

Sis, and everyone else who would have the balls to question me, just because I chose to do this and share it with the whole world, doesn't mean you can ask questions. You are allowed to read my daily diary, but you can't ask me anything about it. It's bad enough you get to know my thoughts... so...

I have to be in Orange County in half an hour, and I'm still at the gallery trying to get through day 62... tonight...

Tip of the night: Enjoy wine, even if you don't like it. Tonight... give it a chance. Wine is such a good thing, you don't even know it!

And Noah he often said to his wife when he sat down to dine,
'I don't care where the water goes if it doesn't get into the wine'.
G.K. Chesterton(1874–1936)
Wine and Water

Day 61

Every year, today, my cousins, aunts, grandmas, and anyone who cares to join us comes over to dye Easter eggs... it's supposed to be a fun filled family event. Today, I could care less about ducking eggs in dye... Today, I kind of feel like smashing the eggs on the walls all around the house and splattering dye on them. But... I have to get up, dress up, and show up. I guess it's nice to have family traditions and follow up with them, but, sometimes, family is not who I want to be around. Especially, if I'd rather drink up a bottle of wine and fall asleep...

Tip of the Day: Family traditions are the events that are remembered most, so, no matter how you feel and how much alcohol you'd rather consume, participate in them. They're precious moments and, honestly, you're being really selfish not wanting to be apart of it all.

"To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right." - Confucius