Day 211: Silence...

Is it weird that I don't know what to say today? I'm speechless... nothing comes to mind, really... or, maybe, too many things come to mind...

I think that, sometimes, it's better left unsaid... so, tonight, I'm going to let it be.

Tip of the Day: Recognize when it's better left unsaid. Sometimes, silence can say more than words.

I would like to mention that I appreciated the comments on yesterday's post. Thank you...

"There are times when silence has the loudest voice." Leroy Brownlow

Day 210: I'm Good...

So, I think I might have scared a few of you guys, or all of you guys, with yesterday's post because a couple of people, today, said to me, "So... I've been reading your blog... it's innnntteerresting..." As I laughed it off, I didn't have a comment. The only thing I have to say is that I have layers of myself... and, sometimes, I rethink the whole 365 day thing. I don't know what to expect from my readers, or myself anymore. Honestly, I'm just going with the flow here...

Everybody has many layers to themselves... There's more to me than a "Tip of the Day"... There's more to me than what you know... I think there's more to all of us than we, ourselves, know. It takes about a million acquaintances, a few children, a couple of grandchildren, and a whole lot more than 365 days to really get to know yourself.

I replied to someone, today, by saying, "When I have bad days, it gets interesting..."

But... today... today is a "good" day... Today is the two year Anniversary of mine and Armen's Engagement. Happy Anniversary to the one man I'd bet my life on... you're so good to me that I'd wish each woman in the world can experience someone like you in their life.

I remember, at our Engagement, my mom tried to make a toast... she got teary and couldn't speak when she began... She said that she remembered her dad, today (my grandpa who passed away years ago)... and that she wishes us to be good... good... and... then... good. I can remember her saying the word "good" a lot. She made it clear that she wants us to be good. We think of that word very passively, but, when you really think about, being "good" is all we all need.

So... I'm good...

Tip of the Day: There's a lot more to everybody than we think... so wish them all to be "good."

"A grown-up is a child with layers on." Woody Harrelson

Day 209: An Unforgettable Moment

My grandparents were at my house today... My grandpa is one of the quiet types... He just sits there and stares into space... thinking... all the time. Then, when he does speak, he's either bad mouthing my grandma, in Armenian, or, he's telling her to stop talking so much. But, mostly, he just sits there and thinks... I wonder what he thinks about... I wonder if he's thinking about his past... his friends, loves, hobbies, etc. Personally, I like to think, he's somewhere in his past that he hasn't let go of yet. He's somewhere in his twenties... with someone... at a moment he never let go of... This idea comes from no where. I have never heard of my grandpa being with another woman, but I believe there was somebody once... maybe his soul mate...

I think there are certain moments in life we can never forget or... let go of... no matter how hard we try to not think about them. They're moments of romance, love, and a fast heartbeat... we can remember every word, touch, and feeling... that's what I think he's remembering. Maybe, I'm a romantic... but, I'd rather think that...

Tip of the Day: If you can't let go of a certain moment with someone, miss them, send them your love and light, and then, drop it.

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change you life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just can't let this one go. It's over. So, miss him. Send him your love and light every time you think about him and then drop it." Eat Pray Love

So, today, I miss you, and I send you my love and light...

Day 208: The Past

When I was younger, I'd hear stories about my mom's childhood. She would tell us about her friends, dating, her parents, siblings, who dated who, who liked who... etc.

My family and I visited Armenia a few years ago... my parents wanted my sister and I to see the place where we grew up. We went back to our apartment building, and my mom and a neighbor/friend of hers, who had been escorting us around, sat on this bench, right outside the building, together. They both sat there and closed their eyes as my sister and I just looked at them wondering what it was they were remembering. We couldn't understand what it was they were feeling because we hadn't been there 25 years previous. They just sat there as their eyes filled with tears... My mom's past was never as interesting to me as it is now...

These days, being at my age, I experience the difference between being an adult and having been a child. Now, I remember my childhood friends, dating, who dated who, etc... Now, I understand what it's like to have a past...

Having a past can hurt us sometimes, but, a past is what has brought us here. We wouldn't be here without it. All the experiences, people, places... they've all had a role in building us. They say pasts come back to haunt us, but I think our pasts come back to remind us where we've been and who we are...

I sit here, at 2AM, in front of the laptop trying to concentrate on putting my words together to try to explain my deepest feelings about my past to you, but, I'm failing to do so. The truth is, I have a past... a past full of life and experience and it's bound to show up one day... And, when it does, I will live in the moment and be happy about where I am today and how far I've come.

Tip of the Day: Treasure your past, no matter what it consists of... it's all that you are.

Day 207: Don't Worry, Be Happy

Speaking of song lyrics... I suggest you guys listen to Bob Marley's "Don't Worry, Be Happy"

There are about 10 words in that whole song and four of them are the most important ones. We all worry... Some of us, more than others. Worries make us frown, think too much, and cause us to not be present, so, smile and be happy. "Happy" comes in so many different varieties and outlets that I won't be able to tell you what to do to feel happy, but, if you think about it, you'll know what makes you smile. If you stop worrying and smile, the people around you will smile. We say that a yawn is contagious, but, smiles can be most contagious. Think about it... you always smile back at someone smiling at you.

Tip of the Day: Life happens no matter what we do about it, so... don't worry, be happy.

"In every life we have some trouble, when you worry, you make it double." Bob Marley

Day 206: Lyrics

Your baby blues, so full of wonder,

Your curly cues, your contagious smile...

And as I watch, you start to grow up,

All I can do, is hold you tight,
Knowing... clouds will rage and storms will race in,

But you will be safe in my arms,

Rains will pour down,

Waves will crash around,

But you will be safe in my arms,

Storybooks full of fairytales,

of kings and queens,

and the bluest skies,

My heart is torn just in knowing...

You'll someday see the truth from lies,

When the clouds will rage and,

the storms will race in,

but you will be safe in my arms,

rains will pour down,

waves will crash around,

but you will be safe in my arms,

castles, they might crumble,

dreams may not come true,

But you are never all alone,

I will always, always love you,

Hang on... hang on...

When the clouds will rage and,

the storms will race in,

but you will be safe in my arms,

rains will pour down,

waves will crash around,

but you will be safe in my arms...

- Song "In My Arms" by Plumb

Tip of the Day: Pay attention to the lyrics of songs... sometimes, they're exactly what you need.

Day 205: Giving & Receiving

I'm about 2 hours late at posting today... but, I'm here now... in front of the computer wondering what I should give you guys tonight...
Now, I realize that I've received a few gifts today, and a few more in the last two weeks, considering it was my birthday. I've received clothes, jewelry, concert tickets, money, cards, and a trip to Paris, but, tonight, I received a special gift, from a reader actually, who thought that this was perfect for me. It was a figurine that read, "Happiness is having natural beauty." I thought it was perfect... and I was mostly appreciative at the fact that this person had taken the time to look for something they thought would fit me, just ME...
I love it when people set out to find the perfect gift just for YOU. They always say that it's best to gift someone what you'd want to be gifted. I think that the best part of receiving gifts is when you realize how much effort they tried to put into buying something you'd like. That certain something you'd like is not necessarily something they'd pick for themself, but something they'd pick for YOU. It's like when you see something at a store and you say, "That's so ______. She'd definitely wear that!" I think that each and every individual has their own specific taste and style in every single category of life, like artists. There are not two people in the world who would wear the same outfit and love it at the same level, just like there are not two artists that can paint the same painting exactly the same way. No two people are, at all, alike. Opinions about others people tastes are just your taste. All of our tastes, styles, opinions, and ideas come together and make a colorful, beautiful painting of our world and all that it consists of.

Tip of the Day: When buying a gift for someone, think about what you'd see THEM wearing, doing, eating, etc. Try to give them something that they'd smile about...

"The greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention." Richard Moss

Towns Burr Gallery Show!

I will be participating in a gallery show at the Towns Burr Gallery in Burbank. The opening reception is September 4th, 2010 5pm-8pm. If you find yourself at home, bored out of your mind, or, you just feel like seeing some art, come by and I'll be there!

Day 204: Scuba Diving???

I laughed a lot this morning... and... my parents were the reason for it.

My dad has life insurance and he had renew his application over the phone with the Life Insurance company. So, my mom called the company and handed him the phone... I sat there playing with his Ipad listening to his conversation. The lady on the other end, I think, had asked him if he drinks because he said, "Yes, sometimes... beer... wine... you know..." as soon as he said that my mom smacked his knee and started to wave her hands as she made a "NO" with her lips. He got distracted as he looked at her and said, "Uh... no, I don't drink much... sometimes, at events..." As she heard him say that she got up from the couch and started walking around, breathing hard, and smacking her forehead saying, "Oh my god... I said NO... no... no... no... you don't drink anything!!!" I stopped playing on the Ipad and looked up at the both of them as I started laughing at the whole scene. Then my dad said, "No... I don't drink at all... glass of wine... you know... no, I don't drink!" as he looked up at my mom confused. Then, as my mom began to calm down, he said, "Yes, scuba diving... sometimes!" As he said that, I thought my mom was going to choke him... She got up again, looked down at him and said, "What!!! Scuba diving!!! NO! NO! NO!" as she started waving her hands around. He looked up at her walking around crazily and said, "No... I don't know how to scuba dive... I don't..." At this point, I couldn't stop laughing and my mom couldn't stop hyperventilating. I thought she was going to kill him... but, I looked at her and told her to calm down. As she sat down, he answered a couple more questions, correctly this time, and hung up the phone. They started arguing for a bit... but they both couldn't stop from laughing as she said, "Scuba diving! Since when do you scuba dive??? You had one lesson once, six years ago... Oh my god! Men and their egos..." That scene was the highlight of my day... and typing it out made me laugh even more...

Tip of the Day: Enjoy all of life's activities and excitements, but make sure your Life Insurance Company is not aware of your Skydiving and Scuba Diving skills.

Day 203: Spoiled

Spoiled... that's how I feel at this moment... nothing more or less than spoiled. I must have done something good to deserve all of this... All I can mention is that we have decided on the dates for the wedding, and, I say "dates" not because it's a typo, but, we've decided on two dates, and, now, we just have to decide on one of the two. So, when decided, it will be final, finally.
Today, I'd just like to thank who ever is looking after me out there. I'd like to express my thoughts about how thankful I am... it's unexplainable. It's probably boring for you guys to read about how great my life is going and how perfect and great everything is here in Irenland... I apologize for being annoying or boring, but I'd like to say that even though we all have our problems in life, it's nice to pause and be thankful for everything good in life. Life is good...

Tip of the Day: Think of all the things you're grateful for in life, and thank your lucky stars...

Happy Birthday to my Anahid (mother-in-law)... I hope you know that you are one of the reasons for my spoiled feelings. Thank you for being who you are... you are one of a kind. I hope you're here with us for another 50 years... ok... maybe 40 years will be enough.... I love you.

Day 202: Blank Goals

You know, it's funny... sometimes, at around 12AM, I realize I need to post, and I sit here, in front of the computer, and stare at the empty box that waits for me to be smart, clever, interesting, funny, and with a good story to tell. Sometimes, I experience many things in my day, but, when it comes to these few minutes, I blank out.

We blank out, sometimes, in life... We get to a certain place where we have no idea... no idea about what's going on, and, all we can do is go on with our daily duties. Today, I realized I might be in that phase where I don't have an idea of what I'm doing. People ask me, all the time, about how the gallery is going, what I'm doing, if I'm getting any work, etc... but, I usually have an answer or response of some kind... Today, I was blank, I didn't say anything... no response... I had no idea what I'm doing, what I've been doing, and what I'm going to do. I just stared back at the person asking me and... that's it... I went blank, just stared, and after a minute, I said "It's good... I'm doing good. It'll work out... it'll be okay..." Then, I began to wonder... I haven't written a list of goals for a while. I'm not clear about my short term goals at this moment in my life, but I think I'm okay with not knowing right now. I can think of the things I want to do, but, right now, I don't want to think of them. Right now, I just want to stare, blink, and say, "It's going to be okay..."

Tip of the Day: When you feel lost about where you're going and what you're supposed to be doing, give yourself a short break, then, write out your goals and make a physical list of everything you plan on doing and keep it somewhere in sight. Then, all you have to do is find the motivation and inspiration to start crossing them off, one by one.

Day 201: Custom Made

Ok, so, I know I've mentioned, before, that I've picked out my wedding dress. Well, I'm getting it custom made, only because I already have my dress in my head, and, now, I just have to bring it to life.

The other day, I went for a fitting... Just so you know, we don't have a wedding date yet, but, I promise, it will be announced once we do... Armine is the name of the lady who's making my dress. I showed up to the fitting as she placed the measured cloth for my bust around me, then, helped me step into my skirt... I just stood there looking at myself in the mirror wondering how this is all going to come together at the end...

As I stood there trying to keep the cloth up from falling off, Armine asked, "Did you lose weight?" I just shrugged my shoulders and said, "No, I don't think so..." Then she said, "Do you plan on losing weight by your wedding?" I replied, "Ya, I think so, I'd like to... " She looked at me with wide eyes and asked quickly, "How much?!" "I don't know... fifteen pounds...?" As I said fifteen pounds, she stood up from what she was doing and said, "Ok, no, you can't be losing weight like that on me... I think you look good... but, if you know you're going to be losing weight, I can't work like that... when do you think you'll lose it by?" I replied, "Ummm, soon? As soon as possible...I guess..." Then, she answered, "Ok, then, go... go... go stop eating or... exercise.... or whatever... then, when you feel like you are ready... call me for a fitting!" as she started unpinning what she was working on. "Go.... go... maybe, hopefully, by January... forget about Thanksgiving and everything else... just do it... and, please, keep it by your wedding... because you can't gain weight again... then, we're in trouble... so, you got it?" I just smiled and nodded my head as I said, "Yes, I think I should be ready by January... ok, got it... thank you..."

So, I think I'm going to have to start weighing myself, dieting, exercising, etc., then, post it up, maybe once a week for my own motivation, and get ready to be the BRIDE already...

Oh, and the Cheeseburger I had today... that doesn't count.

Tip of the Day: With all the pressures of being skinny these days... know that if you do plan to get to a certain goal weight, it's only to make yourself happy with who you are. Be your own motivator and your own critic. Do what will make you happy, not what is expected of you by today's society.

Day 200: A Hug...

Today is "Day 200"... 200 days gone by... 200 tips given... 200 parts of me... 200 subjects... a gazillion words... countless minutes... and priceless moments recorded...

Today has been a day of many moments... I can write about how I drove 20 minutes, got to my destination, then, spilled a whole cup of ice blended coffee on myself, and, drove up home to change again, but, all with a smile on my face because I was determined to not let it ruin the day... or... I can write about the miracle of a dog giving birth... but, I'd rather write about the best moment I had today when I got home at midnight, and, finally, got a hug...

Hugs can not be described in words. They are the human embraces we take for granted at times... In a hug, we feel, smell, hear, see, and almost taste a person. At times, they can be overwhelming... Being that close to another human being can be overwhelming. It brings about the smell of a neck, the touch of an ear, the feeling of hair strands, cheeks touching, and bodies colliding... all that in itself is overwhelming.

A few years ago, Armen was leaving for a couple of weeks to the Marines at Seal Beach for training, after 9/11. The whole family was nervous about his departure... Our relationship was in its beginning stages, but we were more friends than anything else. We talked about him leaving and we all acted as though it was just like any other time he had left for training. At the end of our conversation, I said to him, "I just want a hug before you go... don't forget to give me a hug..." So he promised to give me a hug before he left. As he was leaving the whole family was there, so, he was embarassed to give me a hug in front of everybody. I watched him get into his old Nissan Pathfinder, and drive away, as he waved goodbye. I was sad that he hadn't kept his promise, but I understood why he hadn't approached me in front of the whole family. An hour later, I called him to see if he had gotten there... He told me he was stuck in traffic and that it would probably take a while. As he was talking, I said, "You left without giving me a hug..." and I listened to the silence on the other end. Right then, I realized I should probably not have brought it up, so, I told him that it wasn't a big deal and told him to be safe. An hour after that phone call, he called me back, and said, "Where are you?... stay there... I'm coming..." I was at Trader Joe's and decided to wait by my car wondering what was going on... As he pulled into the parking lot, I watched him get out of the car and walk, quickly, towards me... As he, finally, reached me, he pulled me up against him tightly, and held me there for a few seconds... At that moment, I was trying to catch my breath and had realized that he was halfway to San Diego when I talked to him, and, because I had said those few words, he had turned back around to come back and keep his promise. He, then, let me go and said, "That better?..." Then, without saying another word, walked back to his car, got in, and drove off...

Tip of the Day: Give a hug and get a hug when you can...

"You can't give a hug without getting a hug." Unknown

Day 199: Nude Models & Products

I am experiencing what it is to have yourself out there in cyber world... to sign up for websites, have a website, have a blog, a Facebook, etc. I've written about exposing yourself to the internet world, but, today, I experienced a couple of consequences...

I woke up this morning to a phone call... I picked up my phone... "Hello" sounding half asleep. The man on the other end said, "Hello, is this Eerren? I'm sorry did I wake you?" I answered, "No, it's okay, I'm just sick (innocent lie...) Can I help you?" Then, he said, "Yes, I'm actually a model and I found you on Model Mayhem... I understand you're an artist and you look for models to draw and paint, do you paint nude models?" At that moment, I thought I might be hearing things or dreaming for that matter, but I got myself together, with my eyes still closed and still half asleep, I said, "Ya, I do have an account, I do draw and paint models, but... not nude normally. I look for clothed women, most of the time... " He answered, "Oh... ok, are you sure you don't paint nude models? I'll pay you to paint me!" Right then, my eyes were wide open, as I said, "No, I'm sorry I don't normally paint nudes, but, you can look into art schools... they're normally looking for nude models..." and he said, "Ya, but they want experienced models... Ok, it's okay, I guess..." Then, I said, "If you'd like, email me with your information and I'll call you in case I do decide to paint a nude... Ok... Thank you..." He replied, "Oh, ok, I sure will! Thank you!" Then, we both hung up... I stared at my phone wondering if I might still be sleeping... then, turned around and went back to sleep hoping that awkward feeling would fade...

Later in the day, I got an email asking me to review a certain computer product on my blog... If I did it, they'd send me the product for free and place a link and my logo on their product's webpage. As I read my email, I thought, "Oh... that's interesting..." but... my blog is not a place for advertisements... You guys don't come here to read about products... and, I, surely, don't come here to review products. I'm here for personal reasons... I'm here to share my life and experiences... I'm here to teach... and, most importantly, I'm here to learn...

Tip of the Day: Expect the downsides of having "you" out in cyber world... Those weird experiences are worth it when you have the world at your fingertips.

Day 198: Frontenay sur Dive, Vienne

So, I've been thinking that maybe my posts may be getting a little stale... I am, almost, at Day 200, and "stale" at this point, is expected from me.

Sometimes, I have these days when I feel the need to stop myself before I write too much... Today, I think, might be one of those days...

When I have these days, I just need to be left alone and spend time with myself. So... in order to take the staleness out of my posts and to give myself that time with myself, I have decided to take a trip. I will be going to Frontenay sur Dive, Vienne, in France, in September for two weeks. I will be traveling with a few middle-aged women who are artists and we will be over there in that village sharing a house, (shown above) cooking our own food, and taking art workshops everyday. I am very excited about this trip... it's going to be good for me. I will be the youngest one there, so, I hope, I will learn from these women. I have a lot to learn.

The important thing is that my posts will be interesting. I will try my best to make you feel like you're there. So, stick around the staleness, it might pay off.

Tip of the Day: Plan things for yourself if you feel the need to come out of staleness. Change and experience is always good.

Day 197: Carnations for You...

Today is my sister's birthday... I would like to wish her a Happy Birthday and talk about what an amazing person she is... and how amazing she makes my life...

Oddly enough, I'm not going to do that... I bought Carnations for the gallery, which my sister hates. She says they're the nastiest flowers ever!!! I disagree... I think, even though, they have a reputation for being funeral flowers, and being cheap, they're, actually, really beautiful. My relationship with my sister is a love and hate relationship.(which most of you might understand if you have a sister...) With all that I mentioned in my "Sibling Rivalry" post the other day, I think that words (any words I try to use) can not describe the feeling of the imbalance and harmony that comes with having a sister... the feeling of wanting to smash someone's head against a wall and the will to kill for them. It is unexplainable, so I'm not going to try. I would just like to try to portray that feeling by telling her that I would like to give her the world today... She deserves all that is good and great in this world, not because I love her, but, because she loves me. Then, I would like to gift her the bouquet of Carnations I bought today and tell her that she's wrong about them... take a look at them again... Remember how, in grade school, we used to put them in food coloring and they would turn different colors for Science projects... just like you can remember me during your childhood... forget all their bad sides, and try to see how beautiful they can be... Try to think of them as you think of me...

Tip of the Day: Try to see things for what they are, not what they're known to be...

Day 196: Bye, Bye Neighbor

Our street is, usually, really quiet...

It's not a top notch neighborhood... but, it's quiet... So, when an Armenian family moved in next door, we were so happy we'd be hearing some noise around here... For the last two years, we've enjoyed their loud families coming over and the smell of their Sunday barbeque.

A couple of years ago, when we were planning my Engagement in our backyard, I wrote a letter to all the neighbors letting them know that we'd be loud that night and that I wouldn't like to see the Police at my door. My sister read my letter and rewrote a much cornier version. She wrote that I had met my other half and that we were going to celebrate our love... and then, some more creative corniness. Well, I went around and passed them out to all the neighbors nearby... leaving it on their porch, mailbox, front doors, windows, etc. On the day of my Engagement, I had a couple of the neighbors come by wanting to "Congratulate the happy couple." One of the neighbors even brought over a pot of flowers... and the Police never showed up that night...

Today, that Armenian family moved out... they packed up the last of their things, and, now, it's really quiet around here again...

Tip of the Day: Get to know your neighbors... They can make your home feel safe at times. They can be of help to your home life either by taking your trash container out one week, saying "Hello," watching your kids, sharing a fruit tree, or even taking the loud music for one night...

Day 195: Little Ones

We were in the Mojave today... it was 111 degress, but, it wasn't so bad because we were shopping...

My sister bought a bottle of water, opened the cap, and drank it, leaving about 2 inches of water at the bottom, as she turned to my little cousin and said, "Here... you want some?... Oh, I should've had you drink it before I did... sorry..." My cousin looked at her and asked, "Why? It's okay..." She answered, "Because you're younger than me... I'm still trying to get myself used to these things... sorry..." I just looked at her and said, "Do not have kids... atleast not yet..." as we all laughed about it.

Tip of the Day: If you're around a younger person or child, make sure to put them first, before yourself... I'm sure anyone of you who is a mother is used to that type of a lifestyle, but for us, non-mothers, it's good to be aware of being aware of little ones... they need to be taken care of.

Day 194: Thank You for Noticing Me

So... it is undeniable that today is my birthday!!! I am, now, 26 years old and... I am, now, in my late 20's... or, maybe, it could still be my mid-twenties(?)... but, I have to say I am so happy!
I can't imagine being in a different place in my life right now, like I've said before...
I woke up to phone calls, text messages, and people kissing me this morning. It has been extremely nice being here, on Earth, today. I, officially, feel so loved... and lucky. Someone said to me today, "You are such an inspiration... I remember you, four years ago, talking about all that you wanted to do and accomplish, and, now, here you are, and, you did it!" and another called me "unique" in the most sincere words that made me speechless as to how to reply...
I would like to thank all of you that have given me the attention I need, on this day, and would like to express my feelings about how happy you have me today. It's not the presents that are remembered most, it's the moments of attention and love...
A few years ago, on my birthday, Armen asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I told him that all I wanted was a card, but it had to be written in... Just for your information, Armen is not a very good writer or speller, for that matter. So, he got me a card and, on the inside, wrote: "hapi burtday!!! fram armen" The only thing he spelled correctly was his name, and, I still stuck with him after that card... but, it's the one birthday card I remember most...
Birth days would just pass by if no one remembered them... they would go unnoticed... people would go unnoticed... and, today, as I move on into my late 20's, I would like to thank all of you for noticing me at all...

Tip of the Day: Try to remember people's birthdays... Everyone has their special day, and, everyone needs their own special day to be special... People are what make birthdays special.

Day 193: Eat, Pray, Love

I've come across GOD today, alot... Most of my experiences have had to do with religion. I walked into a book store to realize that I had walked into a Christian book store... every book inside had to do with religion, self-help, and the Bible. I even saw an "Idiot's Guide to Religion." Since, there was no one in there and I had walked in, I felt bad just turning around and walking out, so, I looked for something I'd use and bought it. I bought the book "Eat, Pray, and Love" which is a motion picture coming out tomorrow. Everytime they make a book a movie, I try to read the book before I watch the movie, so, I'm going to try to finish this one. Then, I had to listen to Christian radio in the car because that was the only station without static...
Religion is a strange subject... there are many different types I can name and ellaborate on, but, there are so many I, myself, don't know about. In my opinion, religion is just a word... (no offense to anybody...) Religion is just a name we put on our personal beliefs that we have grown up to have. Our life experiences and stand point bring us to our religious ideas. The important thing is that we all believe in something bigger than us... something not in our control. I like to believe that everyone prays to their own GOD and that's the way it should be...

Tip of the Day: We all have our beliefs for our own personal reasons... don't ever feel like you have to put a label on yourself and be "something."

"I have nothing against any of these terms. I feel they are all equal because they are all equally adequate and inadequate descriptions of the indescribable. But we do each need a functional name for this indescribability, and "God" is the name that feels the most warm to me, so that's what I use." Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Day 192: Sibling Rivalry

I was watching The Kardashians... it was an episode where Courtney and Chloe have a fight. They argue over something, then, Courtney says, "Ya, run home to Lamar, you crazy bitch!" So, Chloe packs her stuff up and flies home... After watching the shallow sisters, I thought, "Why is she really going? They're gonna make up any minute... anyway..."

This morning, my sister and I, ironically, got into a fight... It was a huge fight... my mom was, kind of, stuck in the middle of it... wow, we hadn't fought for ages... it felt so good...

My mom would've brought my "devil" up again, if she felt it was safe to do so... but, she didn't mention it this time... it was not safe to do so.

I've been thinking about how funny it is that siblings can say anything, I mean "annyytthing", terrible to each other and, it's okay... you get over their words so quickly. I think it's the fact of knowing you're stuck with them forever... they're never going to go away, no matter what you say or do. So, it's okay to beat each other up physically and mentally.

Well, an hour later, or, actually, a half an hour later, we made up...

Tip of the Day: Always keep in mind that the rivalry between siblings is what makes the relationship stand out from the rest. Enjoy your sibling rivalries... after you get over the anger.

"A sibling is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost."

Day 191: Save Anything...

My sister and I share a bathroom... almost every morning I watch her brush her teeth. She turns the faucet on, and walks away from the sink while brushing her teeth. So, I walk to the sink and turn it off, and, she walks back to the sink and turns it on...

Honestly, I don't see a point in the water running while she's not there using it... but, it's hard to control other people's actions...

The funniest situation I remember being involved in when trying to save some type of energy was four years ago... I was on a study abroad trip in Greece... We traveled almost everywhere in Greece for a whole month, and, about 40 of us, students, traveled in a big bus. We were in the bus one day, going somewhere, and I was bored with myself... I looked around and there was a girl sitting across the aisle in the seat in front of me... She was listening to her CD player with big headphones on, but, her eyes were closed and her head was resting back... she looked like she was sleeping... So, I thought, "Why let her battery go to waste when she's not getting use of it..." I, simply, (without thinking anymore about it) leaned over the aisle and pressed the STOP button on her CD player... I guess she wasn't sleeping, because a moment later, she opened her eyes, turned her head, and looked at me with a confused expression on her face. She just looked at me... for a while... I didn't really know what to say, so, I just looked back at her with an innocent smile, and said, "I thought you were sleeping... didn't want your battery to die... sorrrryyy..." She still looked confused... she replied, "NO! I'm not sleeping..." as she turned her CD player on, put her headphones back on, and rested her head back. It was that one experience that made me realize that I couldn't just do that... It was a very weird thing to do... but, I do turn the faucet off whenever I get a chance...

Tip of the Day: Try to save any type of energy or water when you get a chance. We can make a big difference if we all do a small part.

Day 190: #67

I went by Home Depot today... I needed a few buckets of paint for the rooms of my future home...

I had an idea of what I wanted but it took me a while to pick out the actual colors... I picked my color swatches and realized that there was one employee working at the paint counter and there was a number system set up for the customers. A middle aged woman and her daughter were also looking at the swatches by me... I looked over at the number display monitor and asked, "Where are the numbers?" The young girl that was with her mom looked over at me and ran in front of me, as she found the number dispensing machine, and pulled a number tag out... I just looked at her, shrugged my shoulders, and walked over to the machine after her... my number was 69... her's was, obviously, 68... so we just stood to the side and waited for our number to come up. While I waited, a lady walked up to me and asked, "Do you need a number?" as I was about to tell her I already had one, I noticed it was number 67, so I took it from her and said, "Thank you so much...." A minute went by, and I realized that, now, I was ahead of the girl who had tried to be slick, so, I smiled and thought, "You got yours...biotch" with a satisfied look on my face. Then, my number came up, so I walked up to the paint counter to turn in my swatches. The girl who thought she was ahead of me walked towards the counter and stood next to me as she tried to take a look at my number... I acted as though I didn't even notice her, but I was laughing inside... The employee went to get my buckets of paint as I stood there waiting... She went over to her mom and said something to her... her mom walked over to the employee and started complaining as she said, "We waiting so long... no body else working?... I have doctor appointment... I can't wait so long... no body else?" I just looked over at her wondering, "Really, lady... you're gonna use a doctor's appointment excuse... what do you think this is... grade school?" I just watched her and minded my own business as I got my buckets of paint and moved on out...

Tip of the Day: Don't try to be slick when it comes to standing in line for something... and, if you come across someone trying to be slick, just ignore it and let them think they're getting away with it... KARMA...

"How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours." Wayne Dyer

Planners or not?

I had some 2010 planners printed this year... about 20 of them, and, and I sold them for $25. I'm trying to decide if I should have a 2011 planner done with new pieces... so, I need your help. I know some of the buyers from this year were some of my readers, so if you guys can help me by letting me know if I should make a new one, I will get started on it... Just comment or contact me somehow and tell me if you'd be interested, please...

If I do make a 2011 one, it will be better from a printing and organized stand point... being through a practice run last time was good experience for me, so, it'll be better. And, if any of the users have some tips on making it better, please let me know. If I do decide to do them, they should be done in time for Christmas present ideas... :) thanks

Day 189: Fraud?

I was having a good day today...

I got an illustration job the other day... through email. It was an assignment to do a few portraits... So, as you can imagine, I was excited...

They sent me the money very quickly... surprisingly quick. Obviously, I cashed the checks and thought I had made a couple thousand for my talents. Then, I get an email asking me to send half of it back because the company decided that they didn't need the rest of the portraits, and, that one piece was enough for now... So, I sent the money back...

The man in charge of the assignment called me today to make sure I had sent the money out, and, I told him it was ready to be picked up and that I would pay for the extra fees and not deduct them from the total, because he had calculated $100 more into my pay. He replied, "ok, that's good..."

Then, a few minutes later, I figured out that the original checks that were sent out were insufficient and the money had actually been taken out of my other joint account. Right then, I put the payment, I had sent out, on "hold..." until I hear from him... It turns out that this whole time, I got a check from my own account and have been spending my own savings, without knowing it...

I hope this turns out to be some kind of a mistake, because, honestly, it feels so bad to be taken advantage of... the feeling is indescribable... "Shit" is the only word I can think of to describe my feelings right now...

It's not the funds I'm disappointed about... it's the portrait of Obama sitting on my desk... the chocolate and wine my sister and I celebrated with when I got the assignment... and the money orders I waved in front of Armen's face when I received them in the mail. Pretty much... it sucks, but... today, is still going to be a good day...

Tip of the Day: When something sounds like it's too good to be true, it probably is... Always be honest in your heart, no matter what some "Shitty Assholes" might do to bring you down.

Day 188: An Early Birthday

My birthday is on the 14th of this month... Day 194... We celebrated my birthday today, oddly enough... We did the whole ice cream sundae with a candle, pictures, and gifts... It was really nice to be celebrated almost a week before the actual day...

We went out today... far... across the sea... for a few hours... and, it feels like I just got back from a mini vacation. With all the fun activities, tastes, and sounds, the one thing that stood out the whole day were all the kids and their families. It was really nice to see families spending time with each other. The kids were excited, loud, and active while the parents were cautious, happy, and, mostly, together.

I sat there and watched a couple of kids build things in the sand with each other and, it brought back memories of buckets, shovels, and being buried in the sand. It made me realize what a big difference children make in a family and, that, there's nothing else that can match up to a child's honesty, imagination, and presence. Watching them be children is one of my favorite past times... they make minutes worthwhile... (sorry for sounding so corney... it's a weak spot)

The reason why we celebrated my birthday a week early was so that my parents would have a chance to spend that "Birthday" time with me.

Tip of the Day: Take some time off and spend it with your parents... celebrate your brithday if you have to have an excuse... just spend a few minutes with them for being so cautious, happy, and together, for you, all these years.

Day 187: Change is Good

I don't know if some of you might have experienced this... but, I have a fly in my room... and it's huge.. and loud!!! I've tried smacking it a couple of times, but it seems like it's unstoppable! I have experienced this before, but, I mind it so much today because today, I redid my bedroom with a new bed, nightstand, bench, chandelier, lamp, and, most fun of all, frames for some of the pictures. It was a long awaited change in my life, and, I'm so glad it's done now... but, this fly is still here and louder than ever...

Tip of the Day: Change something in your personal space... it refreshes your life in such a nice way.

Day 186: Right Here...

I know I promised to make this one good... so, here it goes... but I apologize if it isn't to your expectations...

Sometimes, I think about what life would be like if I had made different decisions... Either, I'd be married with four kids, or, I'd be right where I am right now... right here...

The other day, someone posted a question on Facebook: "If you could be in one place in your life right now, where would it be?"

I answered: "Right here..."

It didn't take me long to come up with an answer at all... I'm at a place in my life where I have everything I need right here...

The experiences I've been through and go through, every day, are what make my life worth while. I don't think of my past as something I'd like to go back to at any certain moment. I think of it as the places I've been and the things I've done that have made me who I am today, right here...

I remember the good, bad, happy, and sad moments and I don't take any of it back. I'm glad I've made the mistakes I've made and all the decisions I've made, whether right or wrong. Without them, I'd be somebody else, somewhere else.

Every day has its own significance...

Today, I got pulled over for speeding in the morning. 78mph in a 65mph zone... not so bad, right? Well, normally, I just nod at the Police and smile while I sign the ticket and say, "Have a nice day..." Today, I, actually, said, "Thank you..." to the cop. The reason why I wasn't mad at him was because I knew that a couple of minutes before he pulled me over, I was going over 90 mph... so, I was lucky he'd caught me at 78mph. It was my fault, so I just smiled and said, "Thank you..."

Well, to my surprise, later on in the day, around 9pm, I was pulled over again... this, time, the cop thought I was driving drunk. (for some odd reason...) He followed me onto the freeway, then, escorted me to the exit with his lights and microphone. I knew I wasn't speeding, so, right then, I was just trying to figure out what I did this time? He came over to my window with his flashlight in my face, with a suspicious look on his face he said, "Do you know why I pulled you over? You were swerving from lane to lane... did you have anything to drink tonight?" I just looked at the light in my face, as I was trying to make his face out, I couldn't help but laugh at his question... Then, he said, "Why are you laughing?" I looked up at him and said, "Oh, nothing, it's just the second time I've been pulled over today... my car has been a bit wobbly today... I think the alignment might be a bit off..." He just looked at me and said, "Not a good day, huh?" I shook my head and said, "nope..." Then, he asked for my ID and registration and went back to his car... As he came back over to my window he said, "Are you sure you haven't had annyythingg?" with a funny tone in his voice. I just looked at him, smiled, and said, "Nothing... I promise..." as I muttered, "I wish I did... the way my day is going..." Then, he said, "Ok, please take your head out the window... and follow my finger, but don't move your head..." I looked at him in disbelief and did as he said... I followed his finger around carefully, but easily, because I was telling the truth about being sober. Then, he said, "Ok, I'm going to keep your driver's license because it's expired... you can use your Passport for ID purposes... here is your registration... make sure you get your new license soon... and, I hope you have a better day... drive safe!" At that point, I just smiled and said, "Thank You..."

Those experiences made today significant... which is why, tomorrow, I will still want to be right here...

Tip of the Day: No matter where you are in your life, and what you've been through, always try to want to be right here...

"Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and NEVER regret anything that made you smile..."

Day 185: I promise

Sometimes, I can't figure out why I chose to do this??? Maybe, it was the "Devil in me?"

Right now, all I can think about is my pillow and how nice it'll feel to fall asleep, but, I need to do this... so, I'd like to say that I promise to make tomorrow good... I promise...

Tip of the Day: Make promises sometimes... just because it gives you some kind of a responsibility, but, make sure you keep them.

Day 184: The Devil in Me

We all, or, most of us, have something inside of us that comes out at times... whether it's the "pissed off" you talking or whether it's just your inner filter turning off, we, at times, reveal some things that should rather be kept inside.

The other day, I was pissed off, so, I made some comments to my mom about random things in my life... I probably sounded a bit crazy, because, she looked at me and said, "Iren, jan, (jan means "sweety" in Armenian) mama jan, what are you saying? Do you hear yourself? It's not you, mama jan, it's the Devil talking... " Now... I don't know about you guys, but, the word "Devil" is not a word I like. So, as soon as I heard it, I looked at her, said a few more "Devilish" things and left the room. Personally, my Devil seems to come out usually when Armen is out of town...

She did end up apologizing to me for comparing me to the Devil that day...

A couple of days later, my mom came home... oddly enough, my dad had left the country that day... I heard yelling from the kitchen so I went to see what she was making a commotion about...

I will keep her words to myself, but, after she was done, I just looked at her and said, "Mama jan, what are you saying? It's not you talking... it's the Devil! Are you okay mama jan?" She just stopped yelling and looked at me right before she bursted out laughing...

That moment was priceless...

Tip of the Day: If you have a Devil, which you probably do, if you're human, just try to control your words when you feel like you're about to speak "Devilish..." You might not be around someone that knows you too well.

“Devils can be driven out of the heart by the touch of a hand on a hand, or a mouth on a mouth.” - Tennessee Williams

Day 183: No Interruptions

It's half past 9 pm... and, I'm still here at the gallery...

Honestly, I don't know why I'm here... I have nothing to do at this moment, but, somehow, being here puts me at ease. I feel like I'm relaxing here, in a weird way, kind of like when I'm at a spa... I'm here... I'm ready to write... I'm alone... I'm concentrated... I'm relaxed... and, most importantly, I'm focused with absolutely no interruptions... but... I don't think I have anything to say tonight... I'd like to relax my brain tonight...

I did do something different today... I looked up at the sky... and it was oddly different and beautiful... unexplainably beautiful...

Tip of the Day: Do whatever you need to do to put your mind at ease when necessary... You don't have to do anything... Just look up at the sky sometimes...

Day 182: A Simple Game of Chess

I've always had a fear of public speaking... my hands shake, my heart beats faster than usual, my cheeks get red, my palms sweat... and all the other side effects of fear that come along with it...

I became a bit better at it as I got older after I went I through a couple of public speaking classes. These days, it takes a shot of Vodka or anything, for that matter, to do the trick...

Everytime I watch someone get up and make a speech at any event, I think about how much it takes to get up and speak in front of people. Some people might not have any problems speaking in public, but they still have to put their words and thoughts together, which is hard enough.

I've heard many good speeches, but the best ones have always told a personal story. Personal stories are what keep people listening... that might be why you guys are still reading this stuff...

When Armen was best man a couple of years back, I never thought he'd make a speech... I thought, "he's probably not going to do it... but, I hope he does..." Then, as the wedding was a couple of hours from coming to an end, he got up on stage, with a glass of Cognac in his hand... as I got up on stage to stand next to him, I thought, "I wonder what he's gonna say?" So, like everybody else, I listened...

He began by saying, "When we (him and the groom) were young, we'd play chess together all the time... One day, we were playing chess, like any other day, and, somehow, we both ended up with two Kings... we started arguing with each other about who the winner was, and, it was weird to us how we had both ended up with Kings... we started arguing and yelling at each other, and, my aunt came over to us and told us, both, to leave the house to calm down a bit... we never really figured out how the game had ended that way... Now, today... I realize that without a Queen by your side, nothing works out... Tonight... your Queen is by your side and the game goes on... so, Congratulations to the both of you, and, know that I will always have your back, no matter how the game plays out... Cheers!"

At this point, I was so surprised at his words and sentimentality that I just looked at him for a while...

I've attended a few events this year... I've noticed that some people don't quiet down for a speeches at times because they don't feel the need to, or, they, simply, don't care about what that person has to say... If people hadn't quieted down for Armen's speech, it wouldn't have had as much of an impact and meaning as it did...

Tip of the Day: Quiet down and listen to people's speeches... you might just learn something from them, or, you might just hear a personal story that you will never forget.

"Write to be understood, speak to be heard, and read to gorw..." Lawrence Clark Powell

Day 181: Behrouz Vousoughi

Behrouz Vousoughi... that's the name of a Persian actor who's achievements were commemorated, last night, at an awards ceremony at the Gibson Amphitheatre. He was known to be their "Al Pacino" from what I got... It was a well hosted event that lasted 5 hours. Now... the 5 hours, I didn't mind, it was the fact that the whole event was in Persian that bugged me the most. I sat there from 8pm to 1am trying to figure out why the audience, and Armen (who understood almost everything), were laughing. At one point, I looked at Armen and said, "Oh, it's okay, no need to translate... I've got it all down..." with a slight tone of sarcasm in my voice, as I looked at him seriously. Then, he started to translate, but it got a bit difficult to do while he was still trying to listen to the rest of the speech, so, he quit trying, after about 30 seconds of translation. There were about 5 or 6 music performances that I enjoyed, (because music is a universal language...) but the rest of the time, I was simply observing... observing everything and everyone around me.

At around 12:00 AM, I felt like there was something growing underneath me because I had been sitting for so long... I moved my bottom around on the chair a bit, but didn't get up because I had to crawl over 6 people to get to the aisle, so.... I just sat there...

The minutes went by as I thought to myself, "this is such a long ceremony!!!" feeling annoyed and mentally tired...

Then, I looked over to my side where Armen's parents were seated, his mom's eyes full of tears, and his dad's face lit up... At that moment... it was all worth it...

Tip of the Day: It's okay if you don't understand certain languages... Don't let it keep you from experiencing something unforgettable.