Day 356: Take Care of Yourself

Why is it that the older we get, the more fear we have?

Armen thinks it's because we have more to lose... I think it's because... I'm not sure really... I think it may be because we know how things function technically... or... childhood naivety is gone... the feeling of safety is gone... we are the only ones who can look after our own selves... if we fall, we are the ones who will fall... there won't be anyone to help when you're falling, so you have to watch out for yourself... you have to be careful...

I remember not being afraid of roller coasters as a child... They were so exciting. I remember thinking that the grown ups would take care of us if anything happened... They would never put us in danger... So I trusted everyone that was taking care of me... and, now, I'm not being taken care of anymore. I have to take care of myself... and someone else...

The thought of fear comes to mind because I spent the day putting away Christmas ornament boxes in the storage. My dad was putting the boxes up and in order to reach the top shelf of the storage in the garage, he had to stand on a ladder. I watched as he put the boxes up on the shelf trying to organize them neatly, and I realized that he was avoiding stepping up on the highest step. He was on his tip toes but stood on the second to last step. When he couldn't reach anymore, he looked down, hesitated, and, slowly, stepped up onto the highest step, but I could feel his tension... he was nervous...

Then, I decided to go up to the neighbor's tree house. I had always admired their tree house and ever since they had moved out, I had been wanting to go up there, and, today, I finally did. As I put one foot up higher than the other on the ladder, I felt the ladder move around a bit. I slowly made my way up there, sat on the edge as I looked out at the sky, and realized that I was more than 20 feet up off the ground... and I was alone... I had to take care of myself... I had to watch out for myself... I had to be careful...

Tip of the Day: Try to enjoy all of life's experiences without too much fear, but remember to be careful and watch out for yourself.