2011 PLANNERS

The Planners Are Here!!!

There are two different covers to the 2011 planners. You can pick and choose depending on which you prefer. They measure 7.5" x 10" and are coil bound. It is 90 pages of writing space for the new year, a different art piece for each month, and a previous blog post from the Everyday Modest blog for each month. If interested, you can either contact me personally at eerren@eerren.com, send me a Facebook message, or send a $30 check to Modest Fly Art Studio Gallery at 7576 Foothill Blvd. Tujunga, CA. 91042 and I'll send it out to you ASAP. The planners cost $25 a piece, and $5 extra would cover the shipping. In case, you'd like a desk calendar along with a planner, they'd cost $30 together, $35 with shipping. I will be posting up some actual photos as soon I get them photographed. Thanks for being here with me!

Day 302: My Mona Lisa

Nutel Lisa (http://cafefernando.com/nutel-lisa-world-nutella-day/)

I'm painting another Nutella... Everyone who has seen me paint it has said, "Another one?" I just, simply, reply, "Yup..." Honestly, I don't understand what the big deal is? I'm sure Da Vinci painted a dozen Mona Lisas... or, maybe not...

Well, besides the Nutella #2 painting, I am also working on a small mosaic of a Nutella jar. I'm not addicted to it... I don't eat it that much either... I just feel comfortable with it, now... It's the one thing, I think, I can draw with my eyes closed. I can remember every outline, color, tint, and shade of it. Now, it just comes to me naturally. Doing this has made me realize that it is so nice to know something inside out. There's nothing that can surprise me about a jar of Nutella... it'll never change as a still life, if I don't buy a new jar. It'll just stay the same always, no matter how and when I decide to paint it. Nutella #2 is just the beginning of our relationship... she's MY Mona Lisa...

Tip of the Day: The world is full of things we don't understand... If you get to know one thing really well, you can always go back to it in case you ever feel lost.

Day 301: Eiffel Tower on the Tree

Yesterday, I asked for an Eiffel Tower Christmas tree ornament for Christmas...

I was looking through a catalog and I spotted it on one of the pages. I was sitting across from my sister while she was on her laptop and I said, "Ok, this is what I want for Christmas! It's the only thing I want this year... I think... I'm gonna circle it so you don't forget... it's only $14.95... ok? My sister looked up at the catalog, smiled and said, "Ok, you sure that's all you want?" I thought about it for a second and replied, "Ummm... well, let me finish looking at the catalog... if I like anything else, I'll circle them..." She started laughing and said, "Okay..." So, I went through the catalog for 5 more minutes and said, "Yup... just one more thing... I really like these beaded paperclips too... and, maybe this picture frame for my new house...? What do you think?" She looked at the catalog and replied, "Ya, they're cute... ok... nothing else?" I smiled and replied, "Nope, nothing else..."

I can't think of anything else I'd like besides a reminder of the one of my best experiences I've had this year. France was there when I needed it and it taught me a lot. If it takes a Christmas ornament to remember what it gave me, then, I'll make sure it's a pretty, sparkly Eiffel Tower on the tree...

Tip of the Day: If you have to be immodest about asking for the perfect Christmas gift, make sure it's someone who will understand your immodesty.

Day 300: Looking Back

I never thought I'd reach this day... and... now that I have, it doesn't feel that long ago...

I've been going back and reading old posts because I'm trying to choose my favorite 12 posts to use for my 2011 planner. (If you guys have any favorites, I wouldn't mind knowing what you think... just comment and let me know which day was your favorite) Reading old posts has made me realize how many days 300 days actually is... but, it doesn't feel as long as it seems... If you've been reading since day 1, joined us midway, or have just joined us, I'd like to go back to the day before day 1... It was the beginning of how this all started... It was my explanation for this strange project... and, here it is:

So...I haven't been feeling that great lately, and I recently came across this book of Everyday Happy 365 Ways to a Better You by Jenny Hare. I've been reading it and it's a great little book of different ways to be "everyday happy." So, here is my idea: I will be posting everyday, for the next year, each day a new way on how to be "modest," since we are Modest Fly Art Studio Gallery!
modest - 1. having or showing a moderate opinion of one's own value, abilities, achievements, etc.; 2. behaving, dressing, speaking, etc. in a way that is considered proper or decorous; 3. moderate or reasonable; 4. quiet and humble in appearance, style, etc.
My objective for this project is to share my daily experiences and give a tip a day on having a brighter and more positive outlook on life and its possibilities. Posting every single day for the next year is a huge commitment for me, but I am so excited to take it on and share my thoughts and experiences with all of you.
Today, I read somewhere: "Life is a lemon, and I want my money back!" (for those who don't get that quote right away, like my sister, it's referring to a lemon as in a lemon car that is returned for a full refund) I know everybody's busy with life and all that it consists of...and in the midst of it all, we, sometimes, lose track of ourselves. The smallest gesture in your day can go unnoticed and, sometimes, those gestures are what keep us grounded. We usually don't have time to stop and pay attention to our surroundings, and the recognition of life's occurrences is what I hope to accomplish with this blog in the next year. My intention is not to turn the Modest Fly Art Gallery blog into a self-help site, but to express the different ways we, as artists, students, employees, the unemployed, bosses, teachers, moms, dads, sisters, brothers, sons, daughters, and most important of all, lovers, need to nourish ourselves in order to maintain happiness, creativity, and self-expression, while LIFE happens!!!

I told my fiance about this project, and I said to him, "how about if no one follows it?" sounding worried, and he said,"well, are you doing this for yourself or are you doing it for everybody else?" I replied, "myself," sounding very confident, and he replied, "then, why does it matter!" So... I guess, what I'm trying to say is that I'm dedicating myself to this because I want to accomplish this goal I've set for myself. I hope to have readers and feedback from all of you, but, if not, I'll still be here anyway. My first official post will be starting tomorrow, February 2nd, 2010. Promise to keep you posted !!! Love, Eerren

So, there it is... my first, official post. It has been very interesting to go back and read what I thought days ago... I have 300 days of my life on record and on this day, all I can say is "I wouldn't take any of it back."

Tip of the Day: Go back and revisit a project from the past. Your thoughts, ideas, and ways might surprise you...

Day 299: Washing My Feet

A pedicure was definitely necessary, today, after a couple of weeks of wearing boots... I've never enjoyed pedicures. The idea of someone cleaning my feet was never a really nice thought... but, when I reached a certain age where I noticed I couldn't think of it in that way anymore because I wasn't the greatest pedicurist, I started to get pedicures once every couple of weeks. Well, today was that once every couple of weeks time...

I sat there listening to the regular Korean chatter and I realized, yet again, why I never got used to the someone washing my feet... First off, my feet were in his face, almost touching his chin and collar, and he didn't have any gloves on... I mean, I'm clean and my feet are usually clean, but they're still my feet. So, what I usually do is tell them to skip the massage part or give them a larger tip than usual. Doing something to make their job easier makes me feel better that they're washing my feet.

Tip of the Day: Respect people's professions and appreciate them for doing what they do.

Day 298: In Her Time...

She can't remember how old we are... my grandma... she's been around for a couple of days because of Thanksgiving and family gatherings, and, she can't remember how old we are...

We were having breakfast this morning and my sister asked her, "Grandma, how old do you think I am?" My grandma shrugged her shoulders and said, "I don't know... eighteen?" My sister and I looked at each other and giggled as she said, "See, it's great... every time I want to feel younger, I just have to ask her how old she thinks I am... No, grandma... I'm not eighteen, a bit older..." She answered, "Uhhh, I don't know... I don't remember... twenty-two?" sounding annoyed. "Nope... not twenty-two... try again... I'm twenty-seven..." my sister replied. "No, you can't be twenty-seven... If you were, you'd have kids by now." grandma answered sounding confident as she shook her head. "Yup, I am... how old do you think Iren is?" She looked at me and said, "Seventeen?..." My sister replied, "No, not seventeen, grandma, she's about to be getting married... she's much older than seventeen..." Grandma looked at me again and said, "So what... I got married at sixteen... she should've already been married! In my time, she'd be seventeen..."

Tip of the Day: Each person has their own time and their own experiences in their time... Don't confuse your time with someone else's and try to understand the difference.

Day 297: Happy Thanksgiving!

I think I've experienced a few of life's pleasures in one day, today... I woke up hungry... I was so hungry, I thought of the saying, "I'm so hungry, I could eat a cow!" So, in order to feed myself the right way, I thought a great, big breakfast at IHOP would do it. As I was giving my order to Victor, the waiter, he looked at me stunned... "I'm gonna have some chocolate milk please... (I hadn't tasted chocolate milk in over 10 years), and the sour cream and avocado omelette, with a side of pancakes, oh, and can I have a side of hash browns also, please? Ummm... and some hot chocolate, in case I feel like drinking something hot... and, I think, that's it..." After enjoying a grand breakfast, I walked the dog for about an hour, in a new surrounding. I wandered off onto a new road and discovered a view I hadn't laid my eyes on before. Then, I had a cup of hot tea and a long chat with a good friend of mine... and, last but not least, I had dinner with family, friends, and lots of noise. I had dinner with two separate families, in two, separate households...

Now, I'm home... and, as I think back on my day, it was perfect. It wouldn't have been that perfect if I had planned it... Happy Thanksgiving!

Tip of the Day: Let your day go as it does, sometimes (especially Holidays)... less planning, more enjoying.

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Day 296: Giving Thanks

Tomorrow's Thanksgiving... One year, I went around the table asking everyone what they were thankful for...

I don't think I've ever felt this way about being thankful... I've never been so thankful than I am today. There's nothing in my life I'm not thankful for, not even the problems and mistakes. It doesn't matter if Thanksgiving is tomorrow, today, or a year from now... I'm going to take this opportunity to express my appreciation for every single thing and person in my life. We should be thankful everyday, but, I'm glad there are these holidays that remind us what we should always remember.

I haven't had such a good day today... Actually, I've been disappointed today... with others, with myself, with this situation that has been today... but, I am thankful for today. I am thankful for my problem, today, because I know there's a reason for it. I write these thanks as I feel disappointment and a small pinch in my heart, but, I can't think of another time in my life that I've felt more thankful.

I am celebrating Thanksgiving today, tomorrow, and everyday from now on...

Tip of the Day: Be thankful, always...

Day 295: I Shouldn't Care

Have you ever told yourself not to care?

"I shouldn't care... why do I care so much? Who cares? What's wrong with me? I shouldn't care... but... I do... "

I think we all might have done that at one time or another. Personally, I think that what I feel is my problem. People are not responsible for the way we feel about them. When you feel like you shouldn't be feeling a certain way about something, and, you do, well, that's because of the person you are. People can't help but be who they are... you can't either, so, when your feelings get in the way of something, just tell yourself you feel that way because you are that way. Each and every one of us is different... we behave differently, think differently, react differently, and feel differently. How do you know someone else doesn't feel the same way? The best way to try to understand yourself is to be yourself and let all the extra stuff go. If you care, then you care... if you don't, then you don't. There's nothing more to it.

Tip of the Day: Don't spend your time thinking about why is it that you care... just care about it and let it go.

"I shouldn't care... but I do... " Edith Piaf (lyrics)

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Day 294: Stop Complaining...

I've been cold the whole day... it's hard to remember the sauna days here at the gallery when it's so cold in here... I've been sitting here, wrapped in my green blanket, drinking hot tea and soup throughout the day, and it's still cold...

I've been cold... but I've been thinking... it can't get any better than this. I have everything I need right here. I don't need anything more... I've got the hot tea, blanket, paper, pencil, computer, light, roof over my head, toilet less than 10 feet away, light coming in from outside, air in my lungs, clothes on my back, art on my walls, boots on my feet, Denny's across the street, love for so many in my heart, loved by many, Cup of Noodles in my tummy, music in my ears, gas in my car, live plants around me, glitter on my walls, and inspiration in me... what more do I want? It's time I donate something to someone that needs a cup of hot tea and a blanket.

Tip of the Day: Stop complaining about how cold it is, sometimes... there's nothing more you need.

Day 293: The Sistine Chapel

An hour and a half of my day, today, has been significant... I was apart of an audience at a play tonight. I sat there as I watched, in astonishment, as these actors read their lines perfectly and used their phenomenal skills as actors. We all watch movies and great performances in movies, but, while shooting a movie, they can CUT and try again. Acting in a play has no room for error... The actors have to be on target... there's no other way but the right way... Every word, stutter, movement, breath, gesture... it has to be perfect. I was stunned at their performances and, while watching, I thought about how much concentration it would take. Sometimes, I have a hard time keeping my daily thoughts on track... and, here, these people are remembering exact words and sentences... they're moving about on the stage, with the spotlight in their face, knowing there are people watching, and, they're still concentrated... That amazes me... it amazes me like the Sistine Chapel...

Tip of the Day: Attend a play you think you might enjoy and when it's over, applause because it's usually such a great piece of artwork.

Day 292: I'm Happy

Today has been a good and calm day... I know I promised not to look over the statistics tab, but I did... I'm guilty of wanting to know how many minds I'm intruding on, so, I just realized that there are almost double the readers there were last week... and, that makes me feel... pressure... but, happy pressure. I think "happy" is the word I can use to describe my day today, yesterday, and, really, lately...

On day 27, I wrote: "Being happy is a weird thing. I remember feeling content with myself and being excited, but "happy" is a strange thing. I wonder what it really is sometimes. I think that all the things in life, combined, can be happiness. I don't know if I can say "I'm happy" at any certain moment in my life, but when I think back, I think, I have been happy all my life."

Today is day 292... I can't believe I have less than 80 days before this is over. Yesterday, someone said to me, "You can't just stop at day 365! You have to go on... the wedding planning and all of that!" That made me laugh as I replied, "Yup, less than 75 more days, and I'm done..." Honestly, I haven't thought about what I'm going to do after day 365... but, I do know that, tonight, on day 292, I'm happy... I think that doing this is why I'm happy. Being here, everyday, has made me a better person in the last 292 days. It has given me a better outlook on life and everything involved in it... It has given me time to myself, wisdom, surprise, new friends, old friends, pride, embarrassment, an introduction to the world, and so much more. I don't think I've ever felt and lived as much as I have in the last 292 days. Now, with everything said, all I can think about, in this moment, is "I'm happy."

Tip of the Day: Stop and think about how you really feel sometimes... You might just be "happy"...

Day 291: Anonymous Thank You

I'd say it was a successful opening... the room was full, almost, throughout the whole 3 hours. I didn't have time to consume any wine, which rarely happens, so, I'd say it was a good turnout. With everything that went on today, there were many moments I'd freeze and try to keep in my memory, but, here is the highlight: Anonymous said...

Hi There

I just found your blog yesterday through Kris Kan's site and I have been obsessed with it since then. Trying to read all the older posts to catch up with all of you.I just love the way you write and your artwork, too. My son is 13 and loves to draw, maybe I will bring him by your gallery one of these days. we live in La Crescenta. Anyways I am glad I found this blog

I'd say, those are very kind words... kind enough to freeze in time. First of all, I can't imagine anyone trying to go back and read past posts to catch up. That, almost, sounds impossible... but, I thank you for making the highlight of my day so special. Honestly, the word "Anonymous" has never been so mysterious before...

Thank you to my new reader for posting such a kind comment... Thank YOU for reading my words everyday... and, a sincere Thanks to all the ones who showed up tonight... the room wouldn't have been full without you.

Tip of the Day: Leave a kind comment when you can, even anonymously... you might be the highlight of someone's day.

Day 290: Pass on Your Success

I'm finally home from the gallery... We have an opening reception tomorrow night for Athena Mantle. She paints different types of cacti with oils on canvas or panel. Putting her show together has been my number one priority for the last couple of weeks. Some of her pieces are very soft and look like Southwestern art, some are very vibrant and bold, and some are pastel-colored and mellow. In my opinion, her work portrays herself, inside and out... she is much like her cacti, very strong, unique, and beautiful on the outside, and soft and kind on the inside. She has also invited one of her long time friends to bring in her cacti plants to accompany her paintings. Their work complements each other perfectly and I have a good feeling that the opening will not disappoint any one of us.

Tonight, someone said to me, "I am impressed with who you are and what you stand for..." I can't explain how it feels to be complimented that way. I can call it "speechless... great... surprised... humbled... honored... " those are just a few words that describe what it felt like, but, it really felt like... I succeeded at that moment. I felt "perfect" for that one person at that one moment...

And, now, I'd like to make someone else feel like they've succeeded... Athena, I don't even know if you read this at all, but I'd like to wish you good luck tomorrow night. I'd like to say that, "I am impressed with who you are and what you stand for..." It is very difficult to put your creations out there for the world to judge and comment on... I hope that I have done all that is in my power to help you move a step up in your art career...

And... as for the person who made me feel successful, I am so happy that I have done all that is in my power to impress you. Thank you for your thoughtful ways.

Tip of the Day: You have the power to make someone feel this way... so, DO IT because they might just pass it on...

Day 289: A New Friend

Tonight is one of the blinking cursor nights... except, tonight, there's only one thing I want to write about...

The kindest words were written about me today... Kris Kan and I have been going back and forth with sharing each other's work and being very fond of each other the past couple of days, but, I'd like to explain how we came to meet at all...

Well... a few weeks ago, it was the photographer's part of the wedding planning. I thought about it, searched online, and asked around. I had a couple of photographers in mind that I wanted to meet with, but, surprisingly Kris wasn't one of them. I had seen him work at an event I attended, noticed him, loved the way he worked (almost as though he was "invisible" at the event), had seen his work, which speaks for itself, but didn't want to meet with him because I have a retarded tendency to go against the grain and not take part in what's "in" now. So, I had decided that I wasn't going to call him up. (Kris, if you're reading this, I apologize for the honesty... it's what usually gets me into trouble...) A few days passed... and I found myself going back to his blog just to see what he was up to and that's when I saw his Greece video. Well, let's just say "he had me at Greece..." So, as you can imagine, I called him the next day and made an appointment. I showed up to the appointment with my sister and as we got to know each other better, the conversation got better. About an hour and half later, I realized we had parked by a meter and got up to leave. By then, I had not only decided I wanted Kris to photograph my wedding, but as he put it in his blog today, "it was like looking into a mirror." So, as I left the meeting, I was content with my decision and happy that I had made a new friend. Armen hadn't joined me at the meeting so when I got home, he asked, "So, how'd it go? What'd you think?" I just looked at him and answered, "It went well... it was good... actually... you are so lucky I didn't meet him before I met you..." Armen looked up from what he was doing, laughed and said, "It's not too late you know... you think he'd take over the payments for the wedding?"

Tip of the Day: Be open to all kinds of possibilities... You might just make a new friend.

"The very first time I connected with Iren, was over the phone. She was interested to find out more information about my photography services. As our conversation continued, she made a comment about the way I take pictures, she called me "invisible." I was honored by her distinct compliment, and her sincere words. After meeting her in person and getting to know her a little better. I felt like I was looking into a mirror. It's so interesting, before I can express our similarities to her, she already Blogged about it! So with all that said, I would like to introduce you guys to: Modest Fly Art Gallery. I am so happy that I have a friend like her, who I can relate to in a different level. She is ahead of her own time. I know being the person she is, she will always succeed. ( already has! ) Her Art carries her soul, and her personality carries her Art." - Kris

Day 288: My Stories

Yesterday, my sister said to me, "But... it's so personal!" while we were talking about my blog and and my recent posts. I think a few people might be weirded out by my recent posts... I think this because a few people seem concerned about me. If you are weirded out, here is my explanation:

Imagine having to write everyday... Imagine having to come up with something that people would give a slight shit about... Imagine sitting in front of a blinking cursor at 11:55 p.m. and knowing that there's someone waiting to hear what you have to say... so, what I do is speak my mind. I write about the things that everybody thinks about but doesn't talk about. There has been some kind of a turning point here... I have become more aware of my self conscious and, now, I sound weird. My stories are me and I am my stories... some are true events and some are in my head... and, the ones in my head don't make sense at times, but they're there... and, I choose to share them with you, which I might regret if one more person asks me if I'm okay... I do apologize for weirding you out with my unconventional thoughts, but, hey... they're what make me ME...

Tip of the Day: You are who you are and there's no shame for your thoughts.... they make you YOU!

"They say the devil's water, it ain't so sweet. you don't have to drink right now, but you can dip your feet every once in a little while." The Killers

Day 287: Someone Else's True Story

Today, I'd like to share someone else's story... I have done this before, but, today, it's different. Go to Kris Kan's blog at http://kriskanblog.com/ and read his true story. It is very inspiring and, honestly, for me, it's really nice to know I'm not alone in this... I think, he might be the guy version of me...

Tip of the Day: You can't be alone in anything... there has to be a guy/girl version of you somewhere...

"The whole time I spent walking back, I couldn't help but to feel how inspired I was by him. And I wondered if he was ever inspired by me?" - Kris Kan

Day 286: You're not Alone

My dad's birthday gift was 2 tickets to the Lakers game tonight. I was most excited about him going to the game because he had never been to a live game... any kind of live game, but I was actually more excited that we wouldn't have to watch the game at home, on t.v., today. There would be silence instead of news reporters and screeching tennis shoes... but... that didn't work because we watched the game on t.v. to try to find dad in the crowd... ya, tell me about it... but nope... we didn't find him...

Today, my aunt was talking about how lifeless she felt. She was explaining how she didn't feel like doing anything and nothing really mattered. My forgetful grandma overheard her talking and she stood by listening carefully. She listened to her for a while and walked over to me as she whispered, "Why is she saying that? Did her husband move away for work?" I smiled and told my aunt what she had just said. My aunt looked over at my grandma and asked, "No, he's home. Why aunty?" My grandma simply replied, "Well, if he lives at home, then, what's wrong. That's all you need..."

So, I guess it's better to hear sports news and screeching tennis shoes then to be alone...

Tip of the Day: No matter what kind of problems you may have, at least, you're not alone...

Day 285: Live Your Experience

I usually start by not having a clue about the day's post... and, as I start typing something out, it comes to me... By the time I reach the "tip of the day", I have it figured out, somehow...

Tonight, I am clueless, again, as to how to start this... Right now, all I can think about is how much I loved you...

I think I would have done anything for you... The lengths I would go to make you happy scares me... I would probably ruin my own life trying to handle such a big responsibility.

Sometimes, love makes us do anything and everything for that one single person, even when they don't deserve it. Love makes us blind, forgiving, and stupid, at times... It's those moments when you're together and the whole world around you disappears... those moments of hate and pain that come over you when you're hurt... it's that "crazy in love" feeling that some people never get to feel... that's the kind of love I'm thinking about tonight...

Some might call it lust and some might call it love... It doesn't matter what you call it... you won't know, until you feel it. It's adornment, passion, sincerity, jealousy, hate, and anger wrapped into one and it might be the best feeling in the world. Those feelings are the reason why a song can be titled, "Love the way you lie."

I have been lucky enough to experience such a feeling in my life. It's an amazing and unforgettable feeling. Sometimes, love like that is what makes you realize what you want from life. It's an example of how such an "out of this world" experience can actually build you into the person you are and keep you grounded.

Tip of the Day: Feel every single experience and feeling life throws at you... live your experience to the fullest and let it guide you to where you belong. Don't be afraid of it because there's a reason why it all happens the way it does.

Day 284: Your Formula...

Are you supposed to feel the rush of butterflies every time he walks into the room? How come he's not the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning?

Sometimes, there is confusion about love... Sometimes, you're not sure how you feel... so, how are you supposed to know if you're in love? It might sound a bit crazy to some, but love in relationships comes in all shapes and sizes. There might be a fast beating heartbeat for someone who doesn't even know you exist and a regular heartbeat for the one you wake up next to. The chemistry in our bodies reacts differently to each person in our life, which can surprise us at times and leave us clueless to how we actually feel about a certain person.

There was a time, a while ago, when I had to figure out my own chemistry and why and how it was reacting the way it was... Today, I realize that I still don't understand my own chemistry... I still haven't figured out my own formula. The one thing I have learned are the most important elements in the formula. It took me a while, but now that I've figured out the most important elements, no matter how I mix them together, as long as they're in there, the formula works, somehow...

Tip of the Day: Try to figure out the most important elements in your formula...

Day 283: Personally...

Tonight, one of my readers said, "I don't take your posts personally..." I responded, "Yup, that's right... you shouldn't take them personally..."

Honestly, I think 90% of what goes on around us shouldn't be taken personally. We can't walk around thinking that everything said and done is trying to tell us something about ourselves. Life is different for each and every one of us... situations, problems, and decisions are all different... Two people can have the same problem but face a different solution because of their life situation. Taking things personally will make us paranoid and get us worrying about what we should be doing, could be doing, and have been doing. Even when a stranger curses at you in traffic, it shouldn't be taken personally. You are your own person, so the only thing you should take personally is yourself.

Tip of the Day: I write these posts and come up with a "tip of the day" depending on my life situations... Some days, you might disagree with what I have to say, but, please, don't take it personally.

"Life is like dancing. If we have a big floor, many people will dance. Some will get angry when the rhythm changes. But life is changing all the time. " Don Miguel Ruiz

Day 282: The Careless Ones

Some people can't feel... they seem like they're made of stone... they don't express feelings of love, compassion, remorse, or guilt... they're just here because they're here. They live their lives like no one else matters... and, that way, they don't get hurt. That way, they're untouchable...

People like this exist because of their life experiences. They are who they are...

Tip of the Day: Not all of us will have the chance to get to know or experience such careless souls in our lifetime, but, in case you come across one, try to understand what brought them to be that way.

"There, once, was a little girl who, ever since she could understand, was taught to fear daylight... then, one day, a little boy shows up and asks her to go outside and play... We are who we are... People don't change." Great Expectations

Day 281: 50 Years from Now...

We think about the future... but, how far ahead to the future?

At age 5, we think about turning 6... at age 10, we think about being a teen... at age 13, we think about turning 16 and driving... at 16, we think about turning 18 and being legal... then, we're 18 and we're thinking about being legal to drink at 21... 21 comes and we're excited to show our ID publicly... then, we begin to think about the near future and settling down with someone... once settled and at a certain stage in the relationship, we begin to think about happiness, and if we've found "the one", etc.... but, it's very rare that we stop to think about 50 years ahead...

I was at a doctor's office today... and so were 4 other elderly ladies sitting around me in the waiting room. I sat there with nothing to do but observe...

The women were sitting across from me talking about their kids, Armenia, and how long the doctor was making them wait. I looked down and listened as they made conversation. A few minutes of interesting conversation stirred as an old couple walked into the office. The wife guided the husband to the seats and told him to sit down as she walked up to the window. He came over and sat next to the empty seat next to me as the wife finished up at the window and joined him. She came over and sat down on his other side as he asked, "Aren't we going home?" She answered, "No, we have to see the doctor first... he hasn't called us in yet..." As the other women kept on with their conversation, a younger couple walked in. They both stood at the window, then, sat down next to each other across from me. The girl, wearing tight black clothes on her chunky body, had long, wavy, black hair, and held a Louis Vuitton bag with sunglasses, still on her eyes, that had D&G written across the sides... she sat down beside the guy (I'm assuming it was her boyfriend) who had a shaved head, chubby stomach, a couple days of shave on his face, and, also, wearing all black. They sat there, between the elderly women, and read their Astrology personalities to each other. As they became a bit louder reading every single family member's personality, the women began to turn their heads and glance over at the younger couple. As it became a bit louder, the older man next to me turned to his wife and said, "Aren't we going home?" His wife answered, "No, no yet, the doctor needs to see us first..." Then, the younger girl, across from me, took out her compact mirror, held it up and began powdering her face while the old lady next to her turned to look at her. As I thought of what a weird environment I was in, it got a bit weirder, a man walked in and yelled out loud that he was selling Walnuts, tomatoes, and raisins! The old man next to me turned to his wife and said, "Aren't we going to buy some?" His wife answered, "No, we don't need anything." Then, he asked, "Ok, aren't we going home?" as his wife answered patiently, "No, we haven't seen the doctor yet..." I sat there a bit longer listening to more of what was going on around me...

The old man next to me had fallen asleep sitting up by now and his wife was looking drowsy as well. He woke up and began looking inside his pockets for something. His movement woke her and she asked him what he was doing. He pulled out a $20 bill from his right pant pocket, and he tried to slide it into his shirt pocket... but his shirt was pocketless. His wife watched as she kept saying, "You don't have a pocket! Just put it back in your pocket! You don't have a pocket!" He kept trying to slide it in his imaginary pocket a few more times before he realized she was right... he didn't have a pocket, so, he put it back into his pant pocket. As he put it back into his pocket, he sat back and said to wife, "Aren't we going home?"... and, she patiently answered, "No, not yet, the doctor has to see us first..."

Fifty years from now, I'll be 76 years old... maybe with Alzheimer's, asking if we can go home now? In case that does happen, 50 years from now, I would imagine Armen to be patient with me... that's how I know it's "the one"...

Tip of the Day: Getting old is a must... Imagine your life then, at its worst, and try to compose it in a way, now, that'll keep you safe when you do get old and mindless.

Day 280: "Every ending is a new beginning... "

"Love Always, Iren" is what I just signed under a personal letter... His father passed away and I thought I should send him my thoughts and love since he's at the other end of the world. Just as I finished writing the letter, I got news that someone very close to me is pregnant... I had confused emotions for a few minutes as I was trying to feel his sadness and her happiness. I let myself take it all in for a moment... I signed the letter... stamped the envelope... put the letter of grief aside and smiled about the thought of a new baby. As I gathered my thoughts, I realized that every ending really is a new beginning...

Tip of the Day: Life works in mysterious ways... don't try to understand everything that happens. One day, it'll make sense.

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” Unknown

Day 279: You're Gone...

I was sitting here trying to compose Day 279 and I realized that you're gone now... and... at that moment, I realized that you don't know what you have until it's gone...

This saying is true because we are human... we live our lives one day at a time... we can't live it any other way. Life interferes with our heart sometimes. Sometimes, life and everything in it is too much to handle all at once. Once that happens, our mind takes over and expresses what we feel at the moment, but not what we feel in our hearts. Our hearts make us human and this is a humane tendency.

Tip of the Day: We just have to try our best to be grateful for who and what we have in our lives, and, try to use our hearts, in most cases, rather than our heads.

Day 278: IKEA

The highlight of my day, today, was sliding across the IKEA aisles on their carts. If you haven't tried it, please do. It's extremely fun.

Here are some instructions:

1. Grab one of the flat carts that comes out of the cart dispenser (I guess that's what it would be called...). It is located right after the exit of the showrooms and before the beginning of the aisles.

2. Push the cart to an empty aisle. Make sure there is no one around for at least another 20 feet.

3. Begin by pushing the cart and start running.

4. As you run and get faster, jump onto the edge of the cart while pushing your feet down onto the cart making it go even faster.

5. Just keep your balance, hold on tight, and ENJOY the ride. This is the best part!

So, that's all there is to it... again, I urge you to try it if you haven't already. I do have a video recording of me performing these five steps, but I think I'm okay with the other 20 people around the store that watched me perform. I'd rather keep it imaginary for the rest.

As I performed this act, an Asian lady behind me watched... she made a gesture to me as I stopped my cart. Then, I watched her push her cart toward me as she jumped on and slid across the aisle. Everyone around stopped and watched as her husband stared at his wife with a weird look on his face. As she stopped her cart halfway down the aisle, she raised her arms in victory and everyone watching started clapping and cheering for her. It was a great moment... an IKEA moment... Would have been a great commercial...

The downside of IKEA is being surrounded by boards of all sizes, a bag of screws, nuts, and bolts, and an instruction manual that helps you do it YOURSELF. Right now, I am experiencing the downsides, but it's so worth the cart ride.

Tip of the Day: Enjoy those things that make you feel like a kid again. Don't worry about who's watching and judging... Sometimes, just HAVE FUN!

Day 277: Wish you were there...

Tonight... I wished you were there... I wondered if you'd laugh at the jokes, eat the food, drink the margaritas, and join in on the conversations...

I was there... present... 100% there... but, I had you in the back (or middle) of my mind... I was happy, 100% happy, but, you were there in my imagination. Every single time I laughed, I looked around to see if you were there... if you were laughing... but, I was happy, I was laughing...

I had a good time... I wish you were there...

Tip of the Day: There are times when one's place shows... just recognize the moment and be happy...

Day 276: The Process...

We just finished celebrating dad's birthday... with an expired cake from Baskin Robbins and the birthday song. Now, we're just sitting around the table with our laptops getting on each other's nerves. I'm annoyed, at this point, so I wouldn't freeze this moment... Right now, I'd like to freeze my brain to stop from thinking, but, not thinking is not going to help me write Day 276...

Day 276... Sometimes, it's hard to believe I've been doing this for 276 straight days. If I had done 276 days of French lessons, I'd be fluent by now... If I had done 276 days of P90X, I'd have abs by now... If I had drawn a portrait a day, I'd have filled a sketchbook by now... instead, it has been 276 days of thinking, writing, being honest, clever, dumb, lonely, emotional, but all the while, enjoying my thoughts and life being in the public. At this point, I can't imagine not doing this after day 365...

Believe it or not, sometimes, I think about how I would end this, on day 365, with a bang... I think about why I started this to begin with, what my point was, why I kept it up, what my point is now, and... what I'm going to do with it? I'm going to have the last year of my life recorded on the internet, in Cyberspace, and what am I going to do with it?

The only answer I can come up with is that I enjoyed the process... that's it... it was just process...

Tip of the Day: Enjoy the process...

Day 275: Hope for Sweet Dreams

Waking up from certain dreams can feel weird at times...

To me, dreams are what is in the back of our minds. We all have things in the back of our minds but we don't realize what they actually are... How can we figure out what we're really not thinking about? When I have certain dreams, I realize that it was in the back of my mind the previous day. I could have dreamt about something that might have crossed my mind for a second, or something I didn't even realize I thought about, but it was there, somewhere...

Dreams are interpreted, analyzed, and theorized... you can find online interpretations, Armenian calendar interpretations, and personal interpretations, but what it really means... who knows? Maybe, they don't mean anything? Maybe, they're the answers to all the questions we have about life? But, whatever they mean, they occur. They are an interesting part of our lives, an out of this world experience, and we should hope for sweet ones and try to enjoy them when we can.

Tip of the Day: Sometimes, writing your dreams down can be a great recording of a big part of you. Writing them down has to be done as soon as you wake up, or else, they, somehow, fade from your memory as time passes.

Day 274: Happy Birthday Daddy... Please Come Home...

November 2nd... Day 274... this day, today, is my dad's birthday...

Unfortunately, we were unable to celebrate his birthday because he is not home from work yet. I haven't seen him, at all, today, but I plan to stay up until he gets home.

When I was younger, about 20 years ago, the two main things I remember my dad holding, in his hands, was either a guitar or a camcorder.

When we'd come home, he'd be sitting at the end of our brown couches, which we kept until about a few years ago, and he'd have his guitar in his arms playing to himself. The first few years it was an electric guitar but he switched to an acoustic guitar in the last couple of years. After he was done playing, he'd leave the guitar on the couch until the next day, when he got home from work. Sometimes, when we tried watching movies or just sitting around, the sound would drive me nuts. Nowadays, his electric guitar stands up in the corner of his bedroom. When I hear the slight sound of a guitar, it's him I think about...

During the same years, we would go out on family outings to Sea World or Disneyland. Those were the years the camcorder was a bit smaller than the cameras they used for movie production. We'd all be enjoying our surroundings and activities while he'd walk around with his huge gadget and record... except... he'd always record everything else but us. Afterwards, we'd sit down together to watch those home videos, but we'd have to pay close attention just to catch a glimpse of the one of us running by, in front of the camera. My mom would say, "We're not even in this! Where are we? You're so weird... what makes you think it's interesting to watch other people in our videos? Why didn't you record the kids?" He'd just nod and say, very calmly, "I did a good job... look how steady I'm holding the camera..." The one time he did record me, he caught me picking my nose on a ride...

Happy Birthday Daddy... I would like to wish many more years of the sound of the guitar in our home and many more videos of strangers at theme parks. I would not change one second of the sound of the guitar and one second of your steady recording for silence and a room full of recordings of me. If you, in any case, read my blog, ever... please come home... I'd like to say Happy Birthday before I go to bed tonight...

Tip of the Day: Watch old home videos sometimes to remember those little, special quirks, moments, and personality traits of the family.

Modest Fly Art Gallery Opening Reception: Desert Jewels

Digital invite generated with Smilebox

2011 Desk Calendars

Jewel case desk calendars for 2011. The measurements are 4"x5" and each month features a different piece. They are on sale for $10, but $15 if shipping is necessary. In case you're interested, please contact me and I'll get one to you. The planners are on their way...

Day 273: What If?

Do you think you stumbled into your life? You think everything just happened to you instead of you making it happen?...

No matter how good or bad life is for each of us, I think about how it all happens. Sometimes, it seems like I just fell into this life and none of it was planned, or was it? It might be argument between choice and faith... Honestly, I'm not sure, but I'd like to think I had something to do with it. I could have changed my path somewhere in the middle... One different decision and I probably wouldn't be here right now. Maybe, I'd be married with children, or an accountant, or in school, or living alone, or living in a different city, state, or country? No matter how different my life would be, it would be my life, then, also... Maybe, then, I'd wonder how my life would turn out if I made different decisions from the decisions I had made to get there... Then, I'd wonder if I'd be engaged, or running a gallery, or writing a blog...?

I'm really not sure what I'm thinking right now... I'm just wondering how it would have been if...

Nah, nevermind if... I'm fine right where I am...

Tip of the Day: Sometimes, wondering about "what if" will only take you away from reality, and, reality is where our lives are... Our life is our reality, no matter how it could have been or would have been. Could have, would have, should have... they're all past tense... What we have is now and, right now, I can, I will, and I shall live my life in the present.