Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Day 37: You are a Snowflake


Today, I want to talk about self-esteem. Yesterday, I went to the mall with my 15 year old cousin. I hadn't seen her in a while, so we decided to go shopping. She started telling me about what's going on at school and about some things that were bugging her. Being the 25 year-old donkey (esh in Armenian) I am, I should've given her some advice on self-esteem and all that, but, it was the wrong day. My self-esteem wasn't at its best at that moment, so I just listened. Now, I think I should've said something. My advice might have helped her make a certain decision or act differently towards the situation. Feeling low self-esteem is the worst thing, always, especially when someone else needs you.
Yesterday, I had lunch at Denny's with that friend I told you guys about in yesterday's post. During lunch, she was telling me about her personal life and some stuff that was bothering her. We sat there talking, for about an hour, as a big bellied, gray-bearded, old man in a black leather jacket turned to her and said, "Don't ever let anyone take your self-esteem, it's all you've got." He started to tell us about his wife and how she had given him an ultimatum after 40 years. He was a Harley Davidson rider, part of a certain gang, here in Tujunga (they're very common) and his wife had said, "Either me, or the bike?" So, he had said to her, "Get up, go home, and pack your shit up, you better not be there when I get home." He said, "It's not that I'd rather have my bike than her, but no one gives me an ultimatum. If she has a problem, she should talk to me about it." He looked over at my friend and said, "You are a snowflake, I am a snowflake, and there's only one of each of us." I thought, wow...such a hard looking, Harley rider talking about snowflakes...now, I've seen it all!
So, no matter what's going on in your life, make sure you're not too hard on yourself. Make sure you keep your self-esteem and dignity. Sometimes, when we care so much about others, we let go of ourselves, but, always try to put "you" first, before everything else because that thing that makes you feel so bad about yourself might not be that important. But you, you have to look at yourself, everyday, for the rest of your life.
Ever since I started art school, at the age of 8, my art teacher would always tell me to place a mirror in front of me, and draw myself. I've always been made fun of for my self-portraits by my friends from art school because I always seemed to be drawing myself. It's been a joke ever since, even though I was always asked to do it. Over the years, I feel like doing that has helped me with my self-esteem. It's not just about what I look like, but I feel like I've become more aware of who I am and how I perceive myself. Obviously, I still have self-esteem troubles, but that's been a way of telling myself that I exist as an individual.

Tip of the Day: If your self-esteem has always been at a good point, try to keep it that way and don't let anyone tell you any different. Most of us, have troubles with it, sometimes. If you do, try to do things that make you feel good about yourself and try to remember that "you are a snowflake!"

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